WHY WAS CAMERON IN ZURICH FOR ENGLAND'S WORLD CUP BID?

"THREE POOFS ON MY SHIRT"

Just why was the Prime Minister of GREAT BRITAIN in Zurich, twice to help the World Cup bid of ONE PART of this country.  Not only was he there on Tuesday, but he then flew home for PMQs and THEN FLEW BACK!  Should he not be running the country?

For that matter and for the same reason, why was Prince Willy there?  Not that it matters to me what he does.  As for his wedding, I would rather stick cocktail sticks in my eyes than watch it!  I'd have thought he'd have been a German supporter anyway, like his great uncle.

WORLD CUP-ENGLAND LOST BECAUSE ROONEY WAXED HIS CHEST!

UPDATE:ENGLAND OUT OF THE WORLD CUP-YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST  http://tinyurl.com/36dcbpz

A watertight contract for £6million a year and you want me to resign.

  Fuck off!

The latest theory to come out of the English media as to why England got knocked out of the World Cup, is, wait for it,  WAYNE ROONEY WAXED HIS CHEST.  This seems to have had some sort of biblical 'SAMSON' effect on young Rooney and taken away his football skills!  Fuck Me!  I've heard them all now.

I'VE BEATEN THE SUN-I HAVE THE LINESMAN'S ADDRESS!

After extensive research on your behalf my ENGLISH COUSINS, I have unearthed the address of the dirty Uruguayan rat who cheated the mighty ENGERLAND out of their victory today over the GERMAN SWINESHAGGERS!  it is:

Snr Pablo Fandino, Avenida de los Germanicos, Montevideo, Uruguay, 33498.  His phone number is 00-34141567893, ask for Pab.  When you get there, give him a good kick in the bollox from me.  Blin' bastard!

*BREAKING*- WAYNE ROONEY IS A MUSLIM EXTREMIST!

Wayne Rooney, pictured yesterday, in a obviously false beard at the MUSLIM PROTEST against British Troops,  after Fabio Cappello let him miss training and fly home from South Africa.  Many ENGLAND FANS are now asking, "IS THIS THE MAN WE WANT PLAYING STRIKER FOR ENGERLAND"!

ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP, ALREADY!

"Fans who thought they had missed the chance to say “I was there” as England won their first football World Cup for 40 years still have the chance"- The Times

FUCK ME!  Do they never learn?  Don't get me wrong,  I wouldn't mind seeing England winning the World Cup.  I watch their games and players all year.  Scotland currently are shite, so why wouldn't I want our nearest neighbours to win it?  The only fly in the ointment however, is that THERE IS AS MUCH CHANCE OF ENGLAND WINNING THE WORLD CUP, AS ME BEING THE NEXT POPE!

Sorry, I'll need to go.  There is some twat at the door in a red robe swinging one of those smokey things.