Wednesday, 2 June 2010

ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP, ALREADY!


"Fans who thought they had missed the chance to say “I was there” as England won their first football World Cup for 40 years still have the chance"- The Times

FUCK ME!  Do they never learn?  Don't get me wrong,  I wouldn't mind seeing England winning the World Cup.  I watch their games and players all year.  Scotland currently are shite, so why wouldn't I want our nearest neighbours to win it?  The only fly in the ointment however, is that THERE IS AS MUCH CHANCE OF ENGLAND WINNING THE WORLD CUP, AS ME BEING THE NEXT POPE!

Sorry, I'll need to go.  There is some twat at the door in a red robe swinging one of those smokey things.

21 comments:

Theo Walcott said...

I wish England all the best in the upcoming World Cup.

Wayne Rooney said...

I'm playing the part of Shrek in a new Disney on Ice production.

No make up required.

Bugger said...

Could the red robed person be the De'il and the swinging smokey thing be your personal cabletow?

concerned soap fan said...

Will they have to move Coronation Street to make way for the 'gay games'. Like with that other pile of pish 'Britains Got Talent ' ?

Sgt Pepperspray said...

England are fucked to start with. Crappello has had em playin in japan for fuck sake, and they only won that by 2 own goals. He should have sent em to Africa a month ago, dropped em off in the middle of the sveldt (whatever the fuck a sveldt is) and let them acclimatise escaping from lions and tigers and bears. Then a forced march up Kilimanjaro followed by 20 lengths of the crocodile infested Zambesi. Fuckin FA are too soft on England no wonder they win fuck all.

Dark Lochnagar said...

All, Apologies chaps or chapesses in my tardyness in replying, but my superdooper SKY broadbans, (1 megabit per year whether you want it or not), was down for some reason.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Theo. I believe that Tally bastard has left you out. Well, that jut goes to show you that it's not enough to be fast, you've got to take the fucking ball with you!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Wayne, what do you mean. You are a fine looking young gentleman. Just think if you hadn't been able to kick a football, you'd be living in some shite part of Liverpool with two weans to some fat gadgy bird. Oh! You are, sorry I forgot.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bugger, no it turns out it was some drunken Santa from last Christmas who's been wandering about lost looking for some reindeer. He drinks too much you know.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Soapers, there is some shite on telly. I make it a must of mine never to watch a reality show and I think you can tell from my superior intellect, it's working!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, if Crapello had told them that they were going up Kilimanjaro, half of them would have thought they were getting a shag at a black African bloke.

wankings not what it used to be said...

Hey DL could you imagine this happening in our day ?
Do you think kids get too much of their stimulation off the internet these days and no longer need the sticky pages of 'Fiesta ' ?

http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/scotland/Shop-fined-for-porn-display.6319208.jp

Down in the Smoke said...

It's not the taking part that counts, but the over hyped, face on the ad campaign, marching on to glory, legends of '66, eleven lions, flags on the Vauxhall Astra resembling a red cross convoy bringing relief to Basildon that provides the entertainment.
Like Ally McCloud, we've already won it. It's just a matter of turning up for the photoshoot with the cup.

Q/F Eliminated on penalties.

Down in the smoke said...

BTW. Are you ready to hear my confession?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sticky pages, have you ever read such a load of fucking shite in all your life. ""They were embarrassed by the magazines on display, but it was certainly being aimed at them". Bollocks. They have sexuality pushed at them from the age of 7, particularly the girls. They just have to turn on one of the music channels in the morning before school to see some nymphet pushing her young, tight arse which would be covered in down..Fuck me! I'm getting carried away, but you take the point.

Fiesta in my day when I started to explore my and other womens' sexuallity was a luxury. I remember finding a H&E somewhere and thought I was in heaven. I bet there are people reading this, asking what the fuck is a H&E". Well ask your father!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smokers, there is a joke doing the rounds on Twitter, which goes, well fill your own words in-put a white flag with a red cross on it on your car. So you can say, Are you a paedophile then....put a ....on your car.

My preference is the semis on penalties to the Germans an the sigh of relief from Scotland will blow the chimney stacks off! It's not that we don't want England to win, it's the commentators particularly on the BBC, that get on your tits' Up here whenever England are playing we run a swwepstake on what time the commentator will mention 1966 and the first 10 minutes is usually the winner.

BTW my son, I will take your confession but it will have to be juicy as I am off to the Vatican very shortly. I'm just waiting on the current old 'C' dying.

Dark Lochnagar said...

BTW, has anyone seen that 'Pringles' ad with Peter Crouch. Fuck me! It makes Ally McCleod's deal with the carpet ompany look sophisticated!

lanky streak o piss said...

I remember Peter Crouch getting asked what he would be if he hadn't made it in football.

He said 'A virgin'

hectors got rooneys metatarsal said...

Hector Brocklebank has just arrived at the English teams hotel with a delivery..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b7nQ_kbmCs

Dark Lochnagar said...

Lankers, I think the same would go for Rooney!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Hectoring Rooney, brilliant. I'm going to mpost another one with Sobart Transport.