A NICE STORY FROM THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

103-year-old nun to leave convent for first time in 84 years to meet Pope

For the last 84 years she has spent every day of her life behind the cloistered walls of a convent to the north of Madrid but on Friday Sister Teresita, aged 103, will venture into the world outside – to meet the Pope.

Fuck me!  that's some time to wait for your first shag.

RAF ORDER SQUADRON OF FIGHTER ZEPPELINS AS CUTS START TO BITE

THE RS250 MODEL ON WHICH THE NEW FIGHTER ZEPPELIN IS BASED

The RAF is to order a squadron of the new Messerschmitt fighter zeppelins to replace a squadron of 'Tornado' fighters as the Treasury cuts start to bite.

The new fighter zeppelins carry significantly more cannon than the Tornado and have the ability to sneak up on their targets silently, a compelling advantage unless of course they are coming out of the sun which makes them obvious to the naked eye, as the sun is blotted out.  They are powered by the new Wankel 500cc diesel engine, which has been passed by the German Green Party as being low in emissions and therefore protects the environment.
As well as the armament mounted under the main carriage, there is also the advantage of snipers being able to shoot out of the windows at any enemy on the ground. There has been some disquiet however from the Vatican, as His Holiness the Pope thinks that the new Zeppelins look very similar to condoms and may turn Catholics in any countries that the airship passes over, into sinners.  The fear is that if hordes of people go to confession, the Priests won't have time for smoking, drinking and molesting weans.  Enough to make you secular!

BRAVE ISRAELI SOLDIER POSES ON FACEBOOK WITH BLINFOLDED PALESTINIAN PRISONERS!

A former Israeli soldier posted photos on Facebook of herself in uniform smiling beside bound and blindfolded Palestinian prisoners, drawing sharp criticism from the Israeli military and Palestinian officials.
Israeli soldiers have run into trouble on social media sites like Facebook and YouTube before.
Palestinian Authority spokesman Ghassan Khatib condemned the photos and said they pointed to a deeper malaise – how Israel's 43-year-old occupation of Palestinians has affected the Israelis who enforce it.  "This shows the mentality of the occupier," Mr Khatib said, "to be proud of humiliating Palestinians. The occupation is unjust, immoral and, as these pictures show, corrupting."

So the brave Israelis like to humiliate their terrified victims.  Where have we heard that before?  Why don't we hear about the Palestinians' struggle to get a home land?  Because they haven't been handed it by Winston Churchill in exchange for the Zionist support to get America into WW2.  We don't hear about it because , the MSM don't report on it because ultimately the Papers are controlled by their Zionist owners.  Don't take my word for it read it, look it up on the Internet or if you are really wanting an early night, read the 200+ comments on the site above about the Pope's visit and watch how 'Anonymous', twists every one's story, until he is eventually laid to rest!

ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP, ALREADY!

"Fans who thought they had missed the chance to say “I was there” as England won their first football World Cup for 40 years still have the chance"- The Times

FUCK ME!  Do they never learn?  Don't get me wrong,  I wouldn't mind seeing England winning the World Cup.  I watch their games and players all year.  Scotland currently are shite, so why wouldn't I want our nearest neighbours to win it?  The only fly in the ointment however, is that THERE IS AS MUCH CHANCE OF ENGLAND WINNING THE WORLD CUP, AS ME BEING THE NEXT POPE!

Sorry, I'll need to go.  There is some twat at the door in a red robe swinging one of those smokey things.