Sunday, 19 September 2010

RAF ORDER SQUADRON OF FIGHTER ZEPPELINS AS CUTS START TO BITE

THE RS250 MODEL ON WHICH THE NEW FIGHTER ZEPPELIN IS BASED

The RAF is to order a squadron of the new Messerschmitt fighter zeppelins to replace a squadron of 'Tornado' fighters as the Treasury cuts start to bite.

The new fighter zeppelins carry significantly more cannon than the Tornado and have the ability to sneak up on their targets silently, a compelling advantage unless of course they are coming out of the sun which makes them obvious to the naked eye, as the sun is blotted out.  They are powered by the new Wankel 500cc diesel engine, which has been passed by the German Green Party as being low in emissions and therefore protects the environment.
As well as the armament mounted under the main carriage, there is also the advantage of snipers being able to shoot out of the windows at any enemy on the ground. There has been some disquiet however from the Vatican, as His Holiness the Pope thinks that the new Zeppelins look very similar to condoms and may turn Catholics in any countries that the airship passes over, into sinners.  The fear is that if hordes of people go to confession, the Priests won't have time for smoking, drinking and molesting weans.  Enough to make you secular!

10 comments:

mink colours said...

Do they have any Zeppelins in other colours ? That looks like the mink Dundee FC colours in your photo.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Minkers, fear not, they will be painted light blue underneath and camouflage on the top, to make them almost naked to enemy eyes. If they were to be painted in light blue and white, the colours of the hated Killy bastards, then something would have to have been done. Could I presume you would prefer tangerine as I indeed would have preferred black and white?

minkers said...

There's only one team in Dundee !

HeadsonPoles said...

Wankers holding the purse strings when the Typhoon was ordered meant that there are more cannon in the Tower of London than in all typhoon squadrons combined - they don't have one - they can't fire a single shell.
Instead, they have a concrete weight so that CofG is maintained.

That'll show the Hun.....

Dibbles1960 said...

I'm all for it. Love Zeppelins.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Minkers, aye Tayport are some team!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, that's the advantage of the Zeppelin. Because of their fabulous lifting capabilities, you can just drop old guns that you don't need on the enemy. We have one in Edinburgh Castle called 'Mons Meg', fucking huge thing, that would cause considerable damage if dropped on your bonce.

minkers said...

DL Tayport ? how dare you ! They're fly fifers.

heads on Poles - think you're a bit behind the times. The Typhoon is operational and has guns, missiles etc.
Although they are grounded at the minute because the ejection seat forgets to keep the parachute and drops the pilot on the ground. Poor Spanish guy died last week. Mr Baker is investigating.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Minkers, what's that other good Junior team in Dundee, fromk that bit of the city where you don't want to go after dark!

As long as it was only a Dago. Whit luck!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Dibbles, welcome to the blog. Yes, now that they have got over the problem of combustable gases, I could see their use. Because there so stable you could have a swimming pool in them to form the ultimate infinity pool. Fuck, I think I might market that!