LONDON LIBRARY UNDER SIEGE AS 'NOB GANG' RIOTS!

The London Library-Pall Mall (library pic)

As I write this police are rushing to the LONDON LIBRARY just off Pall Mall as a bunch of 'nobs', many of whom are Oxbridge undergraduates, members of the  AnyoneforpoloOKyah gang from Sloane Square,  Chelsea have entered the building and have barricaded themselves in.

It is thought that some of the scum are reading books without paying to take them out of the library.  "The photcopier has been heard running almost constantly", said head librarian Constance Higginbottom.  The most popular tome appears to 'The History of the Tudors, What I Wrote', by the now discredited historian Dr. David Starkey, who last week offended liberal sensibilities by offering up the notion that last week's riots might have been due to the mass immigration of the last 20 years, particularly from Jamaica!

There are even suggestions tonight, that books by the celebrated authoress Jordan and the famous quick witted, 'man-about-town',  Piers Morgan have been trashed and used as toilet paper by some of the defecating rioters or arsenests, as they have become known.

The Mayor of London, Mr Boris Johnson, is known to be inside the premises.  It is not known if he is being held as a hostage, or whether he's trying to get his, 'Nat King Cole' from some of the younger, female protesters.

I THINK DAVID STARKEY IS 200% RIGHT!

'QUEEN CATHERINE' AGREES TO PRE-NUPTIAL DECAPITATION!

Queen to be Catherine Middleton, has agreed to decapitation should she not manage to furnish the Royal family with a healthy male heir.


Dr David Starkey, the well known historian, talk show arsehole and Gay rent boy shagger, who has been retained by the Royals to explain the protocol to the Middleton family.


"It has been the custom for hundreds of years, that any Queen Catherine who fails to produce a male heir is liable to be decapitated, by her husband.  This goes back to King Henry V11, the father of good King Hal, who had the decapitation clause entered into his pre-nuptials, by Thomas Cramner, whose ancestor now plays central midfield for Aston Villa", said Starkey writing in this month's 'Musclemen' magazine, where he has been chosen as the 'Gay Hunk' of the month.

HENRY VIII WAS MICHAEL JACKSON LOOKALIKE CLAIMS DR DAVID STARKEY

In a sensational new biography on HENRY VIII, the sensational claim has been made by TUDOR EXPERT, Dr David Starkey that the powerful King of England was actually a BLACK MAN WHO WAS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF DEAD POP PIXIE, MICHAEL JACKSON.


KING HENRY was seemingly fixated on having a BLACK CHILD but was unable to find any BLACK WOMEN in England this being the end of the sixteenth century and not some FUCKING P.C., B.B.C. PRODUCTION OF ROBIN HOOD.


It was hoped by KING HENRY that by picking maidens from around Europe and even plug-ugly ones from Cleves that one of his descendants would appear dusky.


Dr Starkey's claims have shocked several members of the LABOUR PARTY, amongst them DIANNE ABBOTT who was sure she was related to HENRY'S FATHER, THE VII. She has given this as the reason she sent her children to PRIVATE SCHOOL despite being opposed to PRIVATE EDUCATION until 2 days before her eldest started school.


Dr STARKEY meantime has been warned not to go WANDERING IN THE WOODS HIMSELF!

DR DAVID STARKEY-ENTERTAINING OR AN ARSEHOLE?

I've just watched QUESTION TIME from last night and to be honest with you most weeks, I can't be arsed as the guests are so uninteresting.

Last night however DR DAVID STARKEY was on and I thought he was FUCKING DELICIOUS! Now you're going to say that he makes belittling comments about Scotland and I hate that to, but I think he just does it to get a reaction, and boy do we rise to the bait!

Last night he was brilliant. He sits there humphing and guffawing at any comment he doesn't agree with and you can tell the rest of the panel particularly the Left wing ones are SHITTING THEMSELVES when it is his turn to speak. He really is AN FUCKING ACERBIC OLD QUEEN who says what he thinks whether IT IS PC OR NOT.

THANK FUCK we still have individuals in the U.K. who don't abide by the "RULES OF SPIN" and at least bring entertainment to an otherwise usually dull programme.