Queen to be Catherine Middleton, has agreed to decapitation should she not manage to furnish the Royal family with a healthy male heir.
Dr David Starkey, the well known historian, talk show arsehole and Gay rent boy shagger, who has been retained by the Royals to explain the protocol to the Middleton family.
"It has been the custom for hundreds of years, that any Queen Catherine who fails to produce a male heir is liable to be decapitated, by her husband. This goes back to King Henry V11, the father of good King Hal, who had the decapitation clause entered into his pre-nuptials, by Thomas Cramner, whose ancestor now plays central midfield for Aston Villa", said Starkey writing in this month's 'Musclemen' magazine, where he has been chosen as the 'Gay Hunk' of the month.
In a sensational new biography on HENRY VIII, the sensational claim has been made by TUDOR EXPERT, Dr David Starkey that the powerful King of England was actually a BLACK MAN WHO WAS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF DEAD POP PIXIE, MICHAEL JACKSON.KING HENRY was seemingly fixated on having a BLACK CHILD but was unable to find any BLACK WOMEN in England this being the end of the sixteenth century and not some FUCKING P.C., B.B.C. PRODUCTION OF ROBIN HOOD.It was hoped by KING HENRY that by picking maidens from around Europe and even plug-ugly ones from Cleves that one of his descendants would appear dusky.Dr Starkey's claims have shocked several members of the LABOUR PARTY, amongst them DIANNE ABBOTT who was sure she was related to HENRY'S FATHER, THE VII. She has given this as the reason she sent her children to PRIVATE SCHOOL despite being opposed to PRIVATE EDUCATION until 2 days before her eldest started school.Dr STARKEY meantime has been warned not to go WANDERING IN THE WOODS HIMSELF!
