Dr David Starkey, the well known historian, talk show arsehole and Gay rent boy shagger, who has been retained by the Royals to explain the protocol to the Middleton family.
"It has been the custom for hundreds of years, that any Queen Catherine who fails to produce a male heir is liable to be decapitated, by her husband. This goes back to King Henry V11, the father of good King Hal, who had the decapitation clause entered into his pre-nuptials, by Thomas Cramner, whose ancestor now plays central midfield for Aston Villa", said Starkey writing in this month's 'Musclemen' magazine, where he has been chosen as the 'Gay Hunk' of the month.
