Monday, 26 April 2010

PERSONAL RESEARCH ON YOUR BEHALF ON NHS SCOTLAND

Don't say you don't get value for money on this blog.  As you read this I will be in Ayr NHS Hospital for an operation tomorrow, Tuesday. 

My new best friend, my POLISH, FEMALE ANETHISTIST tells me that due to my dickie heart, I have a 50/50 chance of a HEART ATTACK, STROKE OR DYING due to having to have a full anesthetic.  Cheery fuckers, the POLES!  Anyway while I am in, (for about a week), I will be keeping in touch by TWITTER on DarkLochnagar and my research on your behalf into the NHS in Scotland will be extensive!  Expect daily reports!

35 comments:

RantinRab said...

Get well soon.

Ya miserable faced old bastard!

INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

DL you are a trooper, to take our general welfare so seriously. I hope you pull through. Are you Fergusade or Lucozade? :-)

scunnert said...

Slainte Mhor!

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Only 50/50? Gordon Brown will promise to increase the odds to 70/30 if you vote for him.

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Or should that be 30/70?

Gordon Brown said...

I'm visiting Ayr on my campaign trail this week so will make a special trip to visit you Mr Dark . Hopefully I can cheer you up and persuade you to vote for me.

cum oan get aff said...

take it easy DL the poles are shite that is the wans that tell us we are no gonae win

Nurse Haroldski Shipmanski said...

Sleep well. I'm in charge of the anaesthetic.

The Young Oligarch said...

Get well soon , DL .

What do they Poles know ?
All they drink is half pints of lager . No even a proper drink .

Awra best .

Dioclese said...

Hope this is not just an attempt to upstage my big expose on the NHS today. God, the lengths some of you bloggers will go to just to get one up (if you'll forgive the expression?)

I have forwarded your post to "Old Sawbones" who is in your neck of the woods should you need a consultant urologist - whatever one of those is....


Get well soon.

aka Grappin said...

keep yourself well DL; the world needs people like you even if you are Scots.

wee boaby said...

I see on twitter that you're through the op ok. Speedy recovery !

CrazyDaisy said...

Aw ra best fur a speedy recovery. Nay feelin up thon nursiz!

CD

vote UKIP and join us bigots and nutters said...

Heck DL you're missing all the fun ( unless you're playing Drs and nurses with the polish lass ).
A Tory candidate was suspended for calling gays abnormal. That will upset your new gay following.
And the gorgon called a lady a bigot for wanting less immigration in Rochdale.
The lady hasn't been seen in public since jonah visited her so she may be off for a walk in the woods or something.
Hope your tickers ticking ok.

Bugger said...

Get well soon

Bugger (the Panda) on safari in Egerland

Dark Lochnagar said...

Roberto, Thanks for your kind wishes, you Killie bastard!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Incoming, No I'm the case of syphilis that makes the difference from the Lucozade! Old joke, but you're old enought to know it.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Scunnert, Saor Alba!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Honourable Fred, I rathr cut my right hand off as I told the Labour pollster who had the temerity to knock on my door before I went in. I'm not sure if he got it though because he still asked for my vote. Thick Bastards as well as crooked and incompetent.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Mr Brown, please don't call me by first name you fucking one-eyed twat!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Get aff ya naff, the Poles are a fine, fine race. I have slmost fallen in love with my new best friend.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Shipmanski, there were three old fuckers in my ward who were half dead anyway. I'm sure you could have finished them off!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Thanks Oli, but they're quite fond of a wee voddy along with their beer.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Dioclese, a urologist? Is that not a load of pish?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Aka, thanks. where have you been recently, you're becoming a stranger.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Boabs, yeh I've managed to spend another few years here to annoy you bastards. About 30 I hope!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Daisy, when they used to wear stockings aka Babs Windsor in 'Carry on Nurse' you might have. Anyway they're all ugly bastards.

Dark Lochnagar said...

UKIPPERS, I managed to keep up with the news although I was getting told off for using my mobile in High Dependency. I'm only playing a game nurse, honest!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bugger, Thanks. see if you can catch a few Labour Bwanas on you safari.

wee boaby said...

Excellent news to see you back amongst us DL. The gorgon is down and crawling along the floor and needs all the help we can't give him.
He's punch drunk with negative criticism and it's brill !

CrazyDaisy said...

Glad that you haven't lost ur sense of humour, Hows yer bum for spots? (sentimental Naval greeting between friends).

Dark Lochnagar said...

Boabs, my pledge to you is that in the next few days I will hammer away as hard as I am able to make sure the one-eyed fucker goes on permanent gardening leave to Fife and fades into obscurity the same as that old fuckwit, Foot.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Daisy, my bum as you would know if you were the owner of it and sitting in this seat in my office is extremely well off for spots. In fact I think I may be be developing a fucking big boil!

Bugger said...

Whit

SUSAN!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bugger, ok pluke.