IS ONE OF THESE MEN RUNNING A CONVENIENCE STORE NEAR YOU?

 

MI5 and the British Security Services  would like to know if you've seen any of these fuckers running a shop near you.

They may not be just running a grocery store, but also may be secretly employed in the business of KEBABS, as some of them were known to have been at a secret Al Qaeda Donner Kebab training course in Baghdad. Remember they may not be wearing their headgear! 

 It is suspected that their English accents have not been perfected yet and they make ask you if 'you wondered by Kebabby'?  To which you must say, 'yes', so not to arouse their suspicion.

 REMEMBER THESE MEN MY BE DANGEROUS AND SHOULD NOT BE APPROACHED!

Instead call 999 and ask to be put forward to the suspicious Asian line.  

Interpreters in 189 different languages are standing by to take your call

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DON'T BE AFRAID-SHOP A TERRORIST TODAY!

 (It'll save the army and they can come home and add to the unemployed) 

MAN BUTCHERED, EATEN AND THE REMAINS SOLD TO A KEBAB STALL!

Russian police have arrested three homeless men suspected of killing and eating a 25-year-old and selling parts of his body to a kebab and pie kiosk. The alarm was raised when bits of a corpse were found near a bus stop on the outskirts of Perm, about 720 miles east of Moscow.

A statement on the Perm police website said the three alleged cannibals had previous criminal records.  The statement said they were detained on suspicion of stabbing a man to death and then chopping him up for food.

It went on: "After carrying out the crime, the corpse was divided up.  "Part was eaten and part was also sold to a kiosk selling kebabs and pies."

The three suspects are due to appear in court on Monday.

FUCKING HELL, it makes the term WHO ATE ALL THE PIES more poignant!

MAKE MINE A DEEP FRIED MARS BAR!