MILLIONAIRESS FALLS FOR CONMAN IAIN GRAY!

A wealthy heiress today described how she handed over £6.2 million to a gigolo later accused of blackmailing her, 'out of love' for him.  Susanne Klatten, 48, was speaking for the first time of the sensational blackmail plot, as the man accused of masterminding the bid went on trial in  court.

Married mother of three Ms Klatten, who is said to be worth more than £6 billion through holdings in car giants BMW and chemical firm Altana, fell for conman IAIN GRAY, 46, after meeting him in a luxury hotel.

Fortunately the people of SCOTLAND, WON'T BE SO FUCKING STUPID!

HUNGARY TO GIVE VOTES TO YOUNG CHILDREN!

Jozsef Szajer, a senior official from the ruling conservative Fidesz party, explained that 20 per cent of Hungary's population are children and that "the interests of future generations are not represented in decision making". 

Mr Szajer said the law would give "mothers the vote on behalf of a maximum of one child".


FUCK ME!  Let's hope Scottish Labour doesn't get to hear about this or they'll manage to rustle up some votes out of thin air like they do with Postal Votes.  I've given my vote to a PROXY because I'm not going to be here on May 5.  If he can't vote or as has happened before, someone has voted for the proxy beforehand, there will be a right, rammy!

 

SCOTTISH LABOUR LEADER SEEN HOLDING HANDS WITH A RENT BOY IN GLASGOW!

138,360 REASONS WHY NO ONE SHOULD TRUST LABOUR!

A NORTH BRITISH LABOUR BOGEYMAN 

Britain's debt mountain is the equivalent of £138,360 for each household in the country, research reveals today.  
Official figures, from the Office for National Statistics, show the total public sector debt is estimated to be £876billion, equal to £33,100 per household.

If the debt from the banks rescued by the State is included, the figure balloons to £2,252billion, according to the ONS.  But the Centre for Policy Studies think-tank says in a report that the real figure is £3,617billion, which is four times larger than the original ‘bank-free’ figure.

That is the equivalent of £138,360 each if it were divided between all the 26million households in the country. It is also the equivalent of 240 per cent of Britain’s economic output.
 

That is why Labour should never be allowed to have control of the nation's finances, either the UK or SCOTLAND ever again!  Don't give me pish about a Global recession. Labour let the banks do what they wanted because they don't understand money.  Every time they're in power it costs the British people fortunes.

It's like making the tea lady the Managing Director! 

NEW SUBWAY MENU!

H/T Baron Sarwar

NORTH BRITISH LABOUR LEADER, IAIN GRAY ENDORSES ALEX SALMOND FOR FIRST MINISTER!

SCOTTISH LABOUR LEADER LESS POPULAR THAN A WET FART DURING ORAL SEX!

Scottish Labour leader, (!), Iain Gray, (@ElmerGrayFudd), has polled less than Conservative leader, Annabel Goldie, in the second such poll this month as the wheels come off the Labour campaign for the Holyrood elections in May!

The poll findings are: 

 

Which of these party leaders do you think would make the best First

Minister for Scotland?

Alex Salmond: 30%

Annabel Goldie: 9%

Iain Gray: 7%

Tavish Scott: 2%

None of these: 16%

Don't Know: 37%

Surely, the time has come for Labour to dump this walking disaster zone before he hurts their chances any further.  Lord George Foulkes is said to be hanging onto his Blackberry waiting for the call from Labour Headquarters in LONDON, as Ed Miliband weighs up his options.  Maybe wee 'Bendy Wendy', can be persuaded to 'BRING IT ON'!

 ROFLMFAO!

LABOUR CANDIDATE WANTED TO LEGALISE BROTHELS!

A LOVE cheat politician who was involved in the abuse of public funds, wanted to legalise brothels in England, and was sacked from his last job, is standing for Labour in the Holyrood elections.


Mick Rice was part of a hard-left ruling cabal in Birmingham until he was voted out following lurid revelations about his private life and claims of “hypocrisy” over his £40,000-a-year council post.

Described as a “very colourful character” by former colleagues, the lifelong trade unionist is now a Scottish Parliament candidate for Labour in Argyll and Bute.He is a key figure in the Scottish Labour campaign and has been photographed with party leader Iain Gray and Shadow Foreign Secretary Douglas Alexander.

Oh Dearie Me!  Do you think @ElmerGrayFudd knows.  Personally I doubt it.  The UNIONIT parties ARE falling to bits!

AN IMPORTANT WEEK IN SCOTTISH POLITICS

Help THE SNP stop sky-high Council Tax increases

This is an important week for Scotland, and the Council tax freeze, with a vote on Budget plans. Over these past three years the SNP have been able to stop increases in the Council Tax, protecting family incomes at a time of rising prices, wage restraint and higher Westminster taxes like VAT. We want to stop CouncilTax increases over the next two years as well.

The SNP's plan will mean the Scottish Government covering the cost of a Council Tax increase. Councils will still get the extra money they need for services but you won't pay it. Instead the money will come direct from the Scottish Government. The SNP will pay for it by reducing the cost of the Senior Civil Service by 25% over the course of the next parliament, with bonuses removed and salary levels frozen.

The Council tax freeze will save the average Scottish family over £300. And compared with the actual increase in England, the saving is around £450 for each Scottish household.

Inflation and VAT are going up. Salaries are being squeezed. This is no time to put more pressure on family budgets.

And yet, the Labour Party want to put Council Tax up once more. In the decade before 2007 Council Tax doubled. We can't let this happen again.

With your help the SNP can freeze the Council Tax again for another two years.

• 
  

• Gray fails to address taxation
• SNP warning over Labour tax double whammy
• SNP to offer Council Tax freeze for two years
• Labour's council tax bombshell revealed
• Labour plan council tax rise to pay for cuts

DEEP DIVISIONS IN SCOTTISH LABOUR ABOUT GRAY'S LEADERSHIP.

 

DEEP DIVISIONS & RANK HYPOCRISY EXPOSED IN WAKE OF ‘IMMATURE’ BUDGET VOTE
 
NO CREDIBLE POLICIES AS IT IS REVEALED LABOUR’S DRAFT MANIFESTO UNCOSTED
 
An article in today’s Times newspaper and an online article by the New Statesman reveal ‘startling’ splits and problems within the Scottish Labour party only weeks before the Scottish Parliamentary election says the SNP’s Campaign Director Angus Robertson.
 
In today’s Times newspaper a queue of anonymous party sources criticise Iain Gray for deciding the Labour group should vote against the SNP Government’s budget, saying he was led by an ‘immature minority’ within the party and that they should have accepted what John Swinney offered them since it met their demands and would let them look like they were acting in the ‘national interest’.
 
And in an online article in the New Statesman it is revealed by Dan Hodges that Labour’s draft manifesto for the Scottish Parliament elections is ‘uncosted’  - confirming SNP criticisms of Labour’s burgeoning policy announcements – and that the UK party will put all additional capacity into the Welsh Assembly elections  with only one additional party staff member seconded to the Scottish campaign.
 
Commenting Mr Robertson said:
 
"These reports just show that in May, voters will have a choice between a responsible, experienced SNP government aiming to protect Scotland’s progress by creating jobs, investing in essential public services and helping family budgets – or a divided and hypocritical Labour party putting immature political opposition before the people of Scotland.
 
“The revelations show Iain Gray was led on the Budget vote and that he isn’t even capable of leading his own group of MSPs, never mind Scotland.
 
“It just proves that they were offered all they wanted – and more – and put puerile political opposition before the national interest.
 
“It is obvious many of his MSPs are unhappy and have startlingly resorted to making known their unhappiness with Iain Gray’s leadership.
 
“The New Statesman is equally revealing in showing a lack of confidence in Iain Gray’s leadership by his London bosses who don’t believe the Scottish campaign is worthy of significant additional resources.
 
“Their revelation that their draft manifesto is uncosted only confirms what the SNP have been saying – that they have an uncosted wish-list of fantasy policies. They don't have a credible alternative for Scotland and their budget vote shows they are hypocritical, inexperienced and inconsistent.”

SALMOND WOULD RATHER LEAD ANOTHER MINORITY GOVERNMENT

Alex Salmond would prefer to lead another minority government rather than enter into a coalition deal if this May's Holyrood elections result in a hung parliament.

Speaking on Newsnight Scotland, the first minister said he would not rule out joining a coalition but that would not be his first choice.

He said he felt his minority government had "proved itself".

A minority Government to some extent has been good for Scotland, much better than a coalition.  If only, the fucking numpties in the the Labour party, could actually enter into the Government of Scotland, by contributing to the budget as do the Tories and the Libdums, instead of acting like a bunch of overexcited  schoolboys on their first date, the Governance of Scotland could be more of an adult affair.  The thought of that prick, Gray, being first minister is enough to make a good proportion of Scots,  move to England.

IAIN GRAY IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO SCOTLAND AND HE SHOULD APOLOGISE TO MONTENEGRO

Iain Gray must apologise for his slur on the people of Montenegro and to the people of Scotland for the embarrassment his gaffe has caused, SNP Foreign Affairs Spokesman Angus Robertson MP said today (Sunday), after it was revealed that the Montenegrin Chargé d’Affaires had rebuked the Labour leader in a letter of protest.

“Iain Gray and Labour have form for this kind of behaviour. First he insults Ireland, then he displays his ignorance of Norway. Now he is blackening the name of Montenegro.

“It is an elementary lesson of politics that you do not rubbish other nations in an attempt to attack your opponents. It is astonishing that Mr Gray does not seem to have the maturity to understand that. His actions are more akin to those of an adolescent Alf Garnett than those of a man who is supposed to be bidding to be First Minister. It is little wonder his personal approval ratings are so low.

“We are used to Mr Gray not letting the facts get in the way of his rhetoric but he has now managed to let his international ignorance embarrass Scotland. That is not good enough. He needs to do the decent thing and apologise to the people of Montenegro. And, he also needs to apologise to the people of Scotland for the embarrassment his gaffes have caused.”

This man is not fit to lead even the rabble that he does.  He should resign immediately and let Wendy Alexander back as leader.  At least she's decent to look at, if we have to endure FMQs every week.

POL POT SAYS-EVEN I'M MORE POPULAR THAN IAIN GRAY-WHAT A FUDD!

Ex-Cambodian leader, Pol Pot, last night insisted that he is more popular than Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.

Despite having wiped out 20% of the Cambodian population through "genocide" and having been dead for 10 years, the mass murderer claims to have received a higher poll rating in a recent opinion poll in East Lothian, the heartland of Gray's power base.

"People thought I had better plans for the Labour party in Scotland. I want to get everyone working in the paddy fields which I will establish in central Edinburgh and people will only get enough rice to feed them and their families, the rest going to my collective."

"I estimate that only just over one million will starve but people seem to prefer that to the crackpot policies of Gray's Labour Party and anyway they like my cheeky wee smile and my ability to make a witty quip", he added.

Fortunately for the people of Scotland, Alex Salmond's SNP are still riding high in the polls. When asked to comment a spokesman for the First Minister said "Iain Gray, WHAT A FUDD"!

SCOTLAND EMBARRASSED BY KNICKERLESS CONSERVATIVE LEADER, GOLDIE!



SHAMED SCOTTISH CONSERVATIVE LEADER, 'KNICKERLESS' GOLDIE



MISS GOLDIE'S FANNY WHEN SHE WAS A STUDENT

D.L. can tonight exclusively reveal that Scottish Conservative Leader, Annabell Goldie, was NOT wearing knickers when presented yesterday to the Pope and Prince Phillip!

Prince Phillip was the first to notice because although he is in his eighties, his eyesight is 20/20 due to his eyes having been transplanted for younger ones, six times during his life.  Noticing the DANDRUFF on Miss Goldie's shoes, he asked cheekily with a glint in his eye, "are you wearing knickers, my dear?  If not, I could arrange for a quick one in the Holyrood Palace pantry, while the Queen is involved elsewhere.

Miss Goldie managed to escape the clutches of the Prince and was later presented to his Holiness the Pope.  "I am very pleased to meet you Holy Father", she told the Holy See.  "A pleasure to meet you my dear", replied the Pope, "but tell me Fraulein, have you just farted or is that your fanny, I smell"?

All Scotland has been embarrassed by the incident, but the situation was deepening tonight, as rumours of an illicit love affair between Miss Goldie and Labour Leader, Iain Gray are sweeping Holyrood.  If the rumours are true, it will be the first Lesbian encounter in the Scottish Parliament.

NOW I KNOW HE'S LOST IT. BROWN PRAISES THE 'GRAY' MAN!

Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, managed to put in an appearance at Labour's spring conference today after travelling up from Peterborough, where he appeared at another conference.  (Who the fuck's running the country)?  He praised the party's Holyrood leader Iain Gray, describing him as one of the "architects of Labour's fightback in Scotland".  Mr Brown made a jibe at the SNP First Minister of Scotland, Alex Salmond, saying Mr Gray's efforts at Holyrood had "ensured that the Salmond season is well and truly over".

The one-eyed twat has obviously lost it altogether if he thinks that fucker Gray is an effective leader and is ANY MATCH for Alex Salmond!  He would be hard pushed to run an ice-cream van, never mind a RAGTAG POLITICAL PARTY!


Brown also said  "We will work together to implement, following the Calman report, the next stage of devolution to the Scottish Parliament."  That could see Holyrood get more powers over drink driving, speed limits and air weapons.
 
Fuck me, HAUD ME BACK!  Our own control over speed limits and air guns.  Whoopydoo!
 
P.S.  Looking at the photo above, I think the Grayman could be in the first grips of Alcoholism, going by his ruddy face.

ELMER FUDD SAYS-WE CAN'T HAVE A REFERENDUM IN SCOTLAND UNLIKE ENGLAND AND WALES

IAIN GRAY, the Labour Leader in Scotland, nicknamed 'ELMER FUDD' by the press and his opponents is in a quandary.  The SNP want to have a REFERENDUM on new powers for the SCOTTISH GOVERNMENT.

Up until now, the Scottish Labour position has been this: we can’t have a referendum now because of the recession, this is no time to become embroiled in constitutional wrangles.  All fine and straightforward except no-one seemed to tell the Labour parties in Wales and London, both of which have backed two different referenda in the last 12 hours.  The Welsh Assembly has supported a call for a referendum on more powers for the Assembly – if that isn’t a constitutional referendum then it is difficult to see what is – and the Westminster Parliamentary Labour Party backed a referendum on proportional representation

So MR FUDD finds himself on a bit of a cleft stick.  Does he back a referendum, as called for by the previous Labour Leader Wendy Alexander in her now famous 'bring it on speech', or does he look even more of a PRICK than he is, (although that would be difficult to imagine), and deny Scotland it's right to choose it's future sovereignty.

WHAT A FUDD!

'SMEATO' GIVES IAIN GRAY A BLAST IN HIS SUN COLUMN!

John Smeaton has had a blast at ineffectual Labour leader, Iain (honest I'm really well known) Gray, in his column in today's SOARAWAY TORY SUN saying:

SCOTTISH Labour leader Iain 'interesting' Gray had a wee pop at yours truly over the weekend.



The most boring man in politics claimed the BBC had blown over a MILLION pounds making a documentary about me.  I wish - I'm bloody skint this month.  That was for the show Make Me An MP, about my failed attempt to get elected in the Glasgow North East by-election back in November.


But appearing as a guest on the Radio Scotland show Off The Ball on Saturday, Gray gloated: "For John Smeaton the BBC spent five grand for each vote."  That adds up to a whopping £1.29million for my 258 votes - way over the show's five-figure budget.  The former maths teacher got his sums hopelessly wrong.  And they say teacher standards are falling?  They must have improved when he quit for politics.

OFF THE BALL, JOHN?  I reckon that last comment was one RIGHT IN THE BALLS!

LABOUR'S IAIN GRAY WINS NUMEROUS AWARDS AT HERALD'S POLITICIAN OF THE YEAR AWARD

Labour Leader in Holyrood, IAIN GRAY won numerous awards last night at the HERALD'S POLITICIAN OF THE YEAR AWARD.  The categories which he won were as follows:

SCOTTISH POLITICIAN OF THE YEAR
POLITICAL DEBATER OF THE YEAR
PARTY LEADER OF THE YEAR
WITTIEST DEBATER OF THE YEAR
INTELLECTUAL OF THE YEAR
HUMANIST OF THE YEAR

For those of you who are by now shaking your heads and saying, you've got to be joking he's fucking hopeless, well I am joking and he is fucking hopeless!  Mind you if it had been the Scotsman awards instead............

Some other categories he might have won:
LEADER OF THE PARTY WITH THE UGLIEST BASTARDS
LEADER OF THE PARTY WITH THE THICKEST FUCKERS
LEADER LEAST LIKELY TO SURVIVE

Who did win the awards?  Well it was a clean sweep for the SNP with JOHN SWINNEY getting the top award.
Not bad from a Unionist paper, eh!

THE SUNDAY INTERVIEW-THIS WEEK TAVISH SCOTT

LIBTHINGIES LEADER TAVISH SCOTT (pictured above after Thursday's FMQs), has admitted that FMQs on a Thursday are too mentally challenging for him.


"I'm actually THICK AS SHITE" an anguished Tavish told D.L. yesterday, "I didn't want to do this job in the first place but I had the stupidest name and that's usually a pre-requisite for a Libthingy leader like "Ming" Campbell or "Alchy" Kennedy. Anyway I wish I didn't have to follow Annabel as she always asks good questions but after my first one, the second one doesn't make sense and Alex rips the fucking pish out of me. It makes me feel even worse when I see myself on the telly and see that fucking fat, speccy woman nodding her head like a toy dog in the back of a car".


As is the tradition in the Socialdemocratlibbies, Tavish is considering becoming a homosexual. "The only problem is that the expression 'gay' doesn't really fit my personality, I'm more a kinda grey and uninteresting type of guy, a bit like that nice Mr Major."


In his Shetland constituency however it's true to say that Tavish is considered a bit of a "racy" swinger as he often dresses up as various animals for charity fundraisers.


Next week, Iain Gray pours his heart out!

FUCK ME! EVEN I'M BETTER KNOWN THAN IAIN GRAY SAYS MING CAMPBELL.

Things are today looking bleak for Scottish Labour leader, Iain Gray. Upstaged by "SKULL" MURPHY at the Labour conference in Brighton and stupidly being absent from F.M.Q. s at Holyrood, where he was upstaged by Johann, "ugly" Lamont, his deputy.

Now, WORST OF ALL, after both POL POT and HITLER claimed to be better known, former Libthingy Leader, MING, "I'M DEID AND NO-ONE'S TOLD ME ", CAMPBELL, also claims to be better KNOWN and MORE POPULAR!

It is reported that his friend and ally, Gordon Brown told the Daily Record, "I'm worried for Iain, but I'm going to KEEP AN EYE on the situation to see if it develops. That is if I don't have to go for more operations and THE DRUGS hold me together and by the way, FUCK THE SUN!