POL POT SAYS-EVEN I'M MORE POPULAR THAN IAIN GRAY-WHAT A FUDD!

Ex-Cambodian leader, Pol Pot, last night insisted that he is more popular than Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.

Despite having wiped out 20% of the Cambodian population through "genocide" and having been dead for 10 years, the mass murderer claims to have received a higher poll rating in a recent opinion poll in East Lothian, the heartland of Gray's power base.

"People thought I had better plans for the Labour party in Scotland. I want to get everyone working in the paddy fields which I will establish in central Edinburgh and people will only get enough rice to feed them and their families, the rest going to my collective."

"I estimate that only just over one million will starve but people seem to prefer that to the crackpot policies of Gray's Labour Party and anyway they like my cheeky wee smile and my ability to make a witty quip", he added.

Fortunately for the people of Scotland, Alex Salmond's SNP are still riding high in the polls. When asked to comment a spokesman for the First Minister said "Iain Gray, WHAT A FUDD"!

HITLER "I'M MORE POPULAR THAN POL POT OR IAIN GRAY"

The jack-booted German prankster, Adolf Hitler, today claimed to be more popular and to have more relevant policies for the people of Scotland than either Pol Pot or Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.


"OK, he said, I made have made a fucking arse of it the last time I was in power, starting a World War which killed twenty million people and exterminating all those Jewish people, but fuck me, everyone deserves a second chance"


Recent opinion polls show that more people in Scotland would rather see Hitler becoming Scottish Labour Leader than Pol Pot or the current Leader, Iain Gray.


"At least I have some policies and just don't go around moaning my fucking face off about the SNP", he said. "Some people still find that a wee invasion of France and Poland might be fun and I'm going to leave the Jews and Gypsies alone this time and go after the Muslims. Gray's policies are more extreme than mine and people just won't accept that. Anyway my cheeky wee smile and witty quips are better than theirs."


A spokesman for First Minister, Alex Salmond, said, "Adolf Hitler, WHAT A FUDD."

CAMBODIAN LEADER INSISTS "I'M MORE POPULAR THAN IAIN GRAY"

Ex-Cambodian leader, Pol Pot, last night insisted that he is more popular than Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.

Despite having wiped out 20% of the Cambodian population through "genocide" and having been dead for 10 years, the mass murderer claims to have received a higher poll rating in a recent opinion poll in East Lothian, the heartland of Gray's power base.

"People thought I had better plans for the Labour party in Scotland. I want to get everyone working in the paddy fields which I will establish in central Edinburgh and people will only get enough rice to feed them and their families, the rest going to my collective."

"I estimate that only just over one million will starve but people seem to prefer that to the crackpot policies of Gray's Labour Party and anyway they like my cheeky wee smile and my ability to make a witty quip", he added.

Fortunately for the people of Scotland, Alex Salmond's SNP are still riding high in the polls. When asked to comment a spokesman for the First Minister said "Iain Gray, WHAT A FUDD"!