PARIS HILTON STOPS A MAN WITH A HUGE HARD-ON, BREAKING OUT OF HER HOUSE!

A man carrying a huge ERECTION has been arrested after allegedly trying to break out of the home of Paris Hilton in Los Angeles.
The US heiress and whore was in the house masturbating when the suspect scratched on her front door and windows at 6am. " For Fuck's sake, let me out!  I can't take any more", he screamed.
Miss Hilton saw him on security cameras as she climaxed and was heard shouting, "bring me that HARD-ON you FUCKING WHOREMAISTER", in a Scottish voice as they had been re-enacting a sex game called, Aberdeen man shags a sheep that's got it's head caught in the fence.  Her boyfriend was also believed to have been in the house at the time, but he had been tied up to the bed, whilst Miss Hilton had been sticking strangely shaped things up his arse!
The suspect did not get out of the house, before the FBI broke in and rescued him, by firstly giving him an injection of SODIUM PENTATHOL in his COCK, to TAKE DOWN THE SWELLING, thus enabling him to get his pants back on.


Miss Hilton has been arrested by Los Angeles Police for statutory rape and boyfriend buggery, although she has maintained through her Lawyers that she was only administering a suppository.

JUST WHERE DO THESE AMERICAN SENATORS GET OFF?

A US Senator investigating the 2009 release of the Lockerbie bomber has asked whistle blowers to step forward.  Sen Robert Menendez issued a public plea for people with inside knowledge of talks between BP and Libyan and British authorities to speak up. 
Assuring confidentiality for sources, Mr Menendez asked also for behind-the-scenes information regarding Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi's medical condition.

Just where does this FUCKWIT get off?  After demanding that our Justice Minister rushes hotfoot to the States to explain himself, he now wants whistle blowers.  Can you imagine what the Americans would say if an MSP here demanded that an American Government official got his arse over here to explain something, oh and if he can't make it can you send a few whistle blowers. Their conceit is fucking mind blowing! The last thing the Americans want is a new LOCKERBIE ENQUIRY!

The Scottish Government should push for a new enquiry to be held in the HAGUE, with full disclosure from the CIA, what their part was, what was in the cargo hold of the plane and why the chief prosecution witness, some tourist shop owner, is now living in the lap of luxury in Australia with the proceeds of a big, fat CIA cheque.  The truth is that the mid-term elections are coming up and this PRICK is hoping to get re-elected by shouting the odds about LOCKERBIE.  Oh and BTW, if the hearing is in Florida in January, I can be available as a whistle-blower to disclose where GREENOCK is!

IS IT ANY WONDER, I FUCKING DESPAIR?

SOCIALITE AND WHORE, Paris Hilton, is being sued because, SHE WORE THE WRONG HAIR EXTENSIONS!  According to the lawsuit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, the company is seeking $35 (£22.4m) million in damages, which is apparently ten times what Hilton was paid under contract.

IS IT ANY WONDER I DESPAIR?  While us fucking proles are worrying about our jobs, mortgages, world issues, kids, immigrants, Sharia Law and paedophiles, this FUCKWIT is being paid $3.5m dollars for WEARING HAIR EXTENSIONS?

BTW, do you think that swimming suit will cleft her fanny?

A guest post by shagpile, the dirty bastard