WHAT IS THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF USING A HELICOPTER?

BROWN - I CUT BACK THE MONEY FOR HELICOPTERS

Gordon Brown admitted this afternoon at the Chilcot Enquiry that he cut the HELICOPTER BUDGET from £3 billion to £1.6 billion.

Asked by the Chairman why he had done this and what he had spent the money on, Brown replied, "well you see we needed money to help Lesbians and Gays, some Asylum seekers didn't have very nice houses and they had been used to a front and back garden in their own countries.  We also spent some of the money training people like Traffic Wardens and Council Officials to be annoying bastards.  We needed some of it for Trident, a weapon we can't fire unless the Americans give us permission and anyway we've got to buy the spare parts from them.  We needed of course CCTVs and Speed Cameras, so we could see what everyone was doing and finally I had to spend £300 million on 10 Downing Street when I moved in to make sure it was splendid enough for me, a very important person".

At that Mr Brown flung a Laptop at the Chairman and stormed out of the building.

WE LOSE ANOTHER HELICOPTER IN THE GULF!

Britain is now down to 17 HELICOPTERS IN AFGHANISTAN as we lost one in a search and rescue mission in the Gulf of Arabia, after it was eaten by a FUCKING BIG SHARK!

MINISTER OF WAR CHANGES TUNE!

LORD MALLOCH-BROWN

Minister of War, some FUCKING ENOBLED TWAT no-one has ever heard of, LORD MALLOCH-BROWN, ( no relation to CYCLOPS), today changed his tune after saying that we did not have enough HELICOPTERS in AFGHANISTAN.

THAT'S A SUPRISE THEN!

Tell me this. If CYCLOPS had a young son of around eighteen years of age serving in AFGHANISTAN, WOULD WE HAVE MORE THAN 1 HELICOPTER PER 500 TROOPS?

YOU BETTER BELIEVE WE WOULD.

THE INCOMPETENT BASTARD.