MAN WITH A PIZZA FOR A FACE PUT IN POKEY FOR 16 MONTHS!

DON'T BEND DOWN TO PICK UP THE SOAP IN THE SHOWER, 

YOU FAT BASTARD!

ARE YOU DIABETIC? CHECK IT OUT!

More than a million Britons are unaware that they have diabetes, an alarming study has found.
Cases of the disease are soaring along with the rising tide of obesity.  The new data indicates that 5.5million people could be living with the condition by 2030, leaving the NHS to pick up the bill.  Many people are unaware that they are suffering from the early stages of Type 2 diabetes. Regular check-ups can help.
Diabetics are at higher risk of heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, leg amputation and blindness.

I've got type 2 diabetes.  To say it has changed my life is an understatement.  I got a neuropathy called CHARCOT'S DISEASE which has left me struggling to walk.  Four of my GPs failed to diagnose it until it was too late.  At some point they put you on insulin injections.  That's not a problem unless you don't like needles, but the big problem is it piles the weight on which gives you other weight related problems.

But it's not all bad news.  I've managed to loose 52kg, around 8.5 stones and I've been able to come off insulin although I am still on other diabetes medication.  I've gone officially from being a RIGHT, BIG FAT BASTARD to only a FAT BASTARD!  Fantastic.  But if you're a bit overweight and you're constantly thirsty or you pee a lot, GET IT CHECKED OUT!  PLEASE.

HUNTINGTON USA TELLS JAMIE OLIVER TO GO HOME AND BTW-STICK YOUR LETTUCE UP YOUR ARSE!

Huntington, West Virginia, is a small city nestled along the bank of the Ohio River.  It has  been recently crowned the fattest city in the U.S., which is the developed world’s most unhealthy country.
Huge teenagers slope about on street corners, smoking and drinking fizzy drinks, (SMOKING A FIZZY DRINK AIN'T EASY),  from enormous containers. More shocking, though, is that no one’s staring. Not even covertly. Because fat is normal here. Almost half the population is clinically obese, (who gives a fuck, they're insured, Ed).

Which is why Jamie Oliver, (annoying cockney fucker!),  chose it as the setting for his controversial new TV series, Jamie’s Food Revolution — currently causing a stir in America — in which he tackles the city’s dire eating habits by changing school meals, educating parents and setting up a ‘non-profit cooking education centre’ to teach people how to shop for and cook healthy meals.
However people in the FAIR TOWN have told OLIVER to FUCK OFF HOME where he belongs and while he's at it, he can stick HIS LETTUCE UP HIS LIMEY ARSEHOLE!

SEEMS FAIR ENOUGHT TO ME!

SANTA TOO FAT SAYS SOME TWAT IN AUSTRALIA

It is time for Santa Claus to clean up his act by cutting down on the mince pies and stopping the drink driving, say critics.

The image of a fat, jolly and slightly tipsy Father Christmas sends out the wrong message and could damage millions of lives, say Dr Nathan Grills and illustrator Brendan Halyday, from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia.  Instead of sitting back in his sleigh and breaking the speed limit, Santa should get off and walk or jog, they say.  Obese Santa also needs to swap the brandy and mince pies left out by hopeful children for carrots and celery sticks stolen from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  Have you ever heard such PISH in all your life.

Sounds to me like the AUSSIE TWAT has been drinking to much of the AMBER NECTAR!  Of course SANTA'S FAT when he visits Australia, he's got a lot SKINNIER by the time he gets here and by the time he gets to the States he's practically ANOREXIC!

+++ SOME DIETARY ADVICE+++

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than BRITS.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than BRITS.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than BRITS.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than BRITS

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than BRITS


CONCLUSION:Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

SAINSBURYS REFUSE TO SELL CHEDDAR CHEESE TO PREGNANT WOMAN!

Pregnant Janet Lehain has criticised supermarket staff who refused to sell her a block of Cheddar cheese because it was too ''dangerous''.


Ms Lehain, from Bedford, had to lie and promise she would not eat the cheese herself before the Sainsbury's deli counter worker allowed her to buy it.

FUCK ME! What next, are they going to refuse to SELL PIES TO FAT BASTARDS?