Showing posts with label FANNY ODOUR. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FANNY ODOUR. Show all posts

Thursday, 24 December 2009

**THE SECOND COMING** DAMIAN BORN IN A BERNI INN WHILST LOCALS EAT ROAST BEEF!



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The second coming, came last night as diners ate their Olde English Roast Beef with all the trimmings in a Berni Inn at Bodmin Moor in Cornwall.

As Morris Dancers quaffed their pints of stout English Ale by night, three Kings of the Maji, pushed through to attend the birth of little Damian Brigstock, who was being born in the 'snug' at the famous olde coaching Inn.

The proud Dad, Elton Brigstock (35), said "Christ, you could have knocked me down with a feather.  My partner Kylie was just in the process of giving birth when these three Arab looking blokes pushed into the room saying they were bearing gifts.  Well I didn't care what they were bearing, they weren't getting a look at my partner's fanny.  I told them to sling their hook and  that they could stick their Frankincense and Myrrh up their arse.  But don't worry, me mate Roger who was videoing the birth got their faces on camera.  We'll be handing the video to the Police, after Roger edits it, to take out the pictures of the fanny.  We don't want all those dirty bastards down at the station to be ogling it for a laugh".

Police are looking for three shifty bastards who were seen leaving the pub on camels.  The names of the two 'Morris Men' who were arrested posing as midwifes, are being withheld until their families are told.  Seemingly their beards were a dead give away!

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

DAVID BECKAM CAUGHT SNIFFING WIFE'S KNICKERS BEFORE PENALTY SHOOT-OUT!



Football superstar DAVID BECKHAM was last night pictured sniffing his WIFE'S KNICKERS before a penalty shoot-out with LA GALAXY.


To make POSH'S KNICKER SMELL more portable, MULTI MILLIONAIRE DAVID, has had the essence made into a spray which allows him to sew it into his football shorts for a quick sniff during a game.  The spray which was made in the WORLD FAMOUS, ODOUR LABORATORY OF L'OREAL is designed to give a FANNY ODOUR with one spray, whilst two sprays in quick succession gives off the odour of POSH'S ARSEHOLE.  The spray is designed to boost David's TETESTERONE LEVELS at certain times during the match when he might need a wee boost.


One unfortunate side affect which afflicts DAVID, is that unfortunately he finds it difficult to run around with a HARD-ON so he has to take certain harmless herbal remedies before each game.




If you have been harmed by any part of this report or feel that you might like to sniff an ARSEHOLE, please call 07813-487619 and ask for Jim, or alternately e-mail j.murphy@arseholesareme.com