DAVID BECKAM CAUGHT SNIFFING WIFE'S KNICKERS BEFORE PENALTY SHOOT-OUT!

Football superstar DAVID BECKHAM was last night pictured sniffing his WIFE'S KNICKERS before a penalty shoot-out with LA GALAXY.


To make POSH'S KNICKER SMELL more portable, MULTI MILLIONAIRE DAVID, has had the essence made into a spray which allows him to sew it into his football shorts for a quick sniff during a game.  The spray which was made in the WORLD FAMOUS, ODOUR LABORATORY OF L'OREAL is designed to give a FANNY ODOUR with one spray, whilst two sprays in quick succession gives off the odour of POSH'S ARSEHOLE.  The spray is designed to boost David's TETESTERONE LEVELS at certain times during the match when he might need a wee boost.


One unfortunate side affect which afflicts DAVID, is that unfortunately he finds it difficult to run around with a HARD-ON so he has to take certain harmless herbal remedies before each game.




If you have been harmed by any part of this report or feel that you might like to sniff an ARSEHOLE, please call 07813-487619 and ask for Jim, or alternately e-mail j.murphy@arseholesareme.com

NICK GRIFFIN TO PROTEST AT HIS TREATMENT ON TENSION TIME!

THE BNP GET THEIR FIRST BLACK MEMBER!

The BBC was accused last night of letting BNP bigot Nick Griffin 'play the martyr' amid bitter recriminations over his appearance on Question Time.
Senior MPs accused the corporation of whipping up controversy to maximise viewing figures - then crudely stage-managing the programme so he was under attack throughout from the audience and fellow panellists. They said the attempt to expose his racist views risked backfiring because some voters would feel he had been unfairly treated.


Last night it emerged that:
Complaints that the show was biased against Mr Griffin outnumbered by more than two to one those about him being allowed to appear;
Some of the audience appear to have been rushed through the vetting process in a bid to emphasise the multi-cultural nature of London;
Audience members were briefed to ask 'provocative' questions and host David Dimbleby told them it was acceptable to boo;
More than eight million people tuned in - four times the usual audience and more than watched Strictly Come Dancing last week ( I WOULD FUCKING HOPE SO!);
The BNP boasted that since Mr Griffin's appearance, 3,000 people had registered to sign up as members;
Joel Weiner, 17, who dramatically confronted Mr Griffin about Holocaust denial, said he applied to attend a Question Time programme more than a year ago, but was approached just 24 hours before filming.

JUST AS WE HAVE SAID ON THIS BLOG GUYS, THE BBC MADE A FUCKING ARSE OF IT!