FRIDAY GOSSIP COLUMN-FRANK BRUNO SHAGGING CHERIE BLAIR!

Both have occasionally felt bruised over the years, so it is perhaps not so surprising that Cherie Blair and Frank Bruno are finding solace in each other's company in the calming atmosphere of one of the country's best-known health spas.
"They have been seeing a lot of each other just lately," whispers my woman undergoing a "pro-lift" firming facial at Champneys in Tring, Herts.
"Frank lives nearby and trains in the gym virtually daily and Cherie often comes in to get a good seeing to from the back by Frank, over the parallel bars.  She seems to get turned on by his manly smell.  The word is he has been giving her advice about some new sexual positions from an old copy of the 'KARMA SUTRA' he got from HARRY CARPENTER, just before he died. She seems very keen to shed some pounds and all the shagging that Frank is giving her seems to be working so well that some other members are wanting to be seen to, as well, including Anne Widdecombe, Lord Mandelson and Maggie Thatcher, bless her, at her age."

A spokesmen for Mrs Blair declined to comment yesterday but Frank told the Telegraph, "yeh!  Yeh!  I gived some of the old geezers one, when they wants.  Me and the wife is very happy together and I isn't leaving her! 

SARAH BROWN AND LUMLEY IN LESBIAN TRYST

SARAH BROWN AND JOANNA LUMLEY PREPARE TO "TONGUE WRESTLE" BEHIND BROWN'S BACK

Prime Minister's wife Sarah has tonight been talking about her lesbian tendencies.

"It's really been growing over the last few months, what with this fucking so called GLOBAL crisis". Gordon knows it's really his fault with his hopeless handling of the Economy over 10 years and he's been so grumpy". "He was never any good in bed anyway and how we managed to have children is beyond me". "He keeps going on about sinning in the eyes of the Lord when we're shagging and to be honest with you it fucking puts me off".

"Anyway", continued Sarah, "Harriet and Blearsy were round a couple of months ago and the three of us got a bit rat arsed on No 10's claret and we ended up in the Sauna, bollock naked". "Well one thing led to another and before I knew where I was, I was being introduced to Lesbian Power Sex".

"As you know Gordon insisted that I went on the Gay Pride March a couple of weeks ago and I got talking to a couple of nice old girls in denim boiler suits and anyway the upshot is that I think I am going to come out".

"When I met Joanna Lumley, I knew she would be up for a "good old tonsil tonguing" as she had appeared in a couple of porno movies when she was younger, but surprisingly she was not too happy about it".

"I wonder if Cherie Blair will be home this weekend as I hear she's up for it and Gordy would like to watch whilst "CHOKING THE CHICKEN".