Thursday, 5 April 2012


Sperm and egg donation 'should be like giving blood'

Donating eggs and sperm should become as common as giving blood, the fertility watchdog claimed as it proposed new "centres of excellence" where donors will be made to feel more welcome.

Sperm and egg donors should write 'pen portraits'

At last dear reader, I am up to speed on this sperm donor carry on.

It just happens in these difficult financial times a and due to the  facts that my sperm is of such high quality, (as it doesn't escape very often) and my health, looks and physique being so good that I am in great demand at these centres, where one can also make a few bob.
As usual this morning, I was given a plastic beaker and a copy of 'Hustler' magazine from the 1980s and sent to my usual cubicle to do the business, so to speak.  Now as you also get paid an hourly rate I was still in there about an hour later reading the readers letters to the editor when I heard someone going into the cubicle next to me, the first time this had happened.  "Fuck me", I thought, "I don't fancy choking the chicken with some bastard listening to me", when it became apparent that he wasn't in there alone,  as I could hear a female moaning.

I crept up on a chair and looked over and here was some arsehole getting a blow job from the nurse.  Well, I pulled the strides up and marched out, straight up to the front desk and shouted at the receptionist, "how come I get a plastic beaker and a copy of a wank mag and that bastard next door is getting a blow job from the nurse"?  

Smiling sweetly, she said, "sorry Mr Lochnagar, I didn't realise you had private health insurance.


banned said...

You might have thought of drilling what I believe is known as a "glory hole" in the cubicle wall.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, Hah,'a glory hole'! Has one been there before and found a Blackman putting his teeth back in?