Tuesday, 20 March 2012


The former leader of the Libdums, Tavish Dickhead Scott has decided that the isles of Orkney and Shetland could remain a part of the UK should Scotland decide to become independent.

The people in my street have also decided that if they vote against independence they could become a separate country. They have asked me to be Prime Minister, which I shall do through one of my minions whilst I sit in the sun in Spain.  We will of course demand control over our own mineral supplies and will demand that the Paki shop sells his drink at cost price to residents.  When the population are pissed out their skulls they won't notice that I have tripled their council tax which will be filtered to a bank account in Spain.  When I enough to by a bike for the wife, she will be able to pedal to the shops to get me my bevvy instead of walking.  We will vote in Sean Connery to be the first President in place of those German bloodsuckers who currently sit in Buckingham Palace.

You might say that all of this is a bit far fetched, but that stupid looking fucker, Scott, started it!


cynicalHighlander said...

Without being personal but he seems to have a strange shaped head or does it just match his lopsided thinking.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Teutcher, he may be may an alien!

The Young Oligarch said...

"those German bloodsuckers who currently sit in Buckingham Palace"

Phhh ! Don't let the Right Honourable Alexander Salmond , PC , hear you saying such things , DL !


Dark Lochnagar said...

Oli, that wanker Cochrane is typical of the right wing, ( I might have thought of myself as such 30 years ago although I never was a monarchist), who appeals to fucking naebody in Scotland unless they are rabid , right wing, stuck up their own arseholes, fuckpigs!

Anonymous said...


In other words he appeals to the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party, the Scottish Orange Order, the Scottish Masons, most Businessmen ect? Now that Ruth Davidson's the leader of the Tory Party North of the Border, at long last the Unionists have a leader that likes Muff.


Dark Lochnagar said...

Stephen, I must admit I was surprised that they picked the old rugmuncher as leader. I would have been more worried if they had picked Munro, who obviously wants to have a Scottish party instead of an English one like the Labour party.

David said...

Ah, the manifold joys of unionism - cocksucking, rugmunching, and proto-fascism. A splenderiferous rainbow encapsulated best in Cochrane of the Daily Wankergraf's sodden rantings: Bring on the Butcher's Apron kickboxing chorus line a la Nazi Berlin of the early 1940's. Can just see them all parcelled up in variations of lipsticked dragessque grotesquerie - Carmyllie in cami-knickers; Caithness with a face transplant & boob job mounted in a push-up bra; Tavish elegant in black, designer stockings; Davidson in a brash chalk stripe tin flute with gargantuan lapels and Breeks pencil tight and flared around mega turn-ups; and all the rest of the ghastly gang MC'd by Wee Wullie Rennie - vampiric; and Joyce et al pissed on the door & nutting the prospective clientele. Halcyon visions from a Boschian nightmare on bad horse. Chipper stuff if you're an MSM aficionado; Hootsmon junkie; & addled Cochrane-ite.

Lord God, spare us.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Davido, welcome to the blog. You paint a horrific picture!

The Young Oligarch said...

Naughty ! Naughty ! DL !

"rabid , right wing, stuck up their own arseholes, fuckpigs !"

You're being a cheeky boy again .
It must be the Spanish sun .
We in Scotland would never talk like that .

What I was really drawing your attention to was your beloved party's policy regarding the monarchy . A policy which seems to have been abandoned apud DL .

Still , a two-footed , off-the-ball tackle is much easier to dish out , isn't it ?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Oli, it was a fine phrase don't you think! As I've said before independence is the most important issue and we'll sort the country out, democratically, when we get that.