Saturday, 2 April 2011

I'VE BEEN OUTED BY PORN WIKILEAKS AS PORN STAR, 'KING DONG'!

Some of my recent porn films


A Los Angeles health clinic that caters to porn actors is investigating allegations that patient information was leaked to a web site.
The Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation said yesterday it is investigating the possibility that its medical record database was breached to supply information for a web site called Pornwikileaks.com.

As I am named as the PORN ACTOR, known in my films as 'KING DONG', due to the huge size of my cock, (it's twelve inches, but I don't generally use it nowadays as a rule), I have decided that it's better to make a clean breast of it so to speak.

I started my acting in the 70s, when I was little more than a teenager, playing a schoolboy to big fat women with huge tits, who played my aunties.  One of my first films, 'I Shagged My Fat Auntie', was big in 1974, you probably saw it.  Some of my most demanding roles like, 'King Dong Does the Sheik's Harem', were made when my sexual prowess was at it's peak in the 80s.  I won a 'Willy' award for that, the porn industry's equivalent of the 'Oscars'. 

Unfortunately in the 90s, I caught, 'porn actor's droop' and my career was over, although my cock has opened the odd village fete and is still a bit of a celebrity locally and it and I, open the batting for the Ayrshire, over 50s, Cricket Team. 


6 comments:

Key bored warrior. said...

Wow that's impressive. You started in your 70s. Do you use any chemical enhancement for your erm prowess, or is it all el natural? You must tell us your secret.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Keybo, well when I retired from the job in the chip shop, I had to look for something that would keep me fit after all those chips so, I thought that a career as a porn star would be just the ticket.

Billy said...

April 1st was yesterday DL so somehow I think you are being delusional just like a Labour voter in fact.

banned said...

I remember you, you were that fat fucker in "Danish Doctor On The Job"; long haired skanky cunt who couldn't get it up even when that big bird did her "special".

If I were the porno impresario I'd have sacked you years ago.
Thank God for PornWikiLeaks, the truth is out!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Billy, this is why I've never bared my soul before, ridicule!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I could practically guarantee that if her girlfriend had been there, it would have been up like a shot. Anyway, you get fed up with all that shagging all the time, day in, day out. A man needs a rest now and again.