Sunday, 5 September 2010

BOOK SIGNING BY BLAIR IN BAGDAD GOES BADLY!

ALI'S BOOK STORE AFTER THE BOOK SIGNING

There were chaotic scenes in Baghdad, last night after an appearance by Ex-Prime Minister, Tony Blair.  The book signing of his new book, 'I'm a murdering, millionaire fuckpig',  has to sell 5,000,000 copies before it breaks even, after Blair was given an advance of £10m, of which he is giving £3.46 to the British Legion as a tax dodge.

The evening started with Blair being flown in by Army helicopter at the British Taxpayers' expense.  A large crown had gathered outside 'Ali's Book Store', the Iraqi equivalent of 'Waterstones', right next to 'Nadir's Carpets', the Iraqi subsidiary of 'Carpet Right' of London, Paris and Tel -Aviv.  As Blair arrived the crowd started to chant, "Blair, Blair, fucking murdering pigdog"!  It was at this point the barrage of shoes started to be thrown, a ancient Arab insult, well at least when they're new but these were real smelly bastards.
I asked an incensed bystander who had appeared to have flung his whole family's shoes including his baby's bootees, which having been made out of river reeds, didn't go very far.  "Why do you hate Mr Blair so much", I asked?  "Because he sent his soldiers here to kill all my family when I was out looking for water", he told me", tears welling up in his eyes.  "Why does Queen Elizabeth send soldiers to invade Iraq, we no do fuck all to England"?
As I couldn't really answer his question, I concluded the interview and made my way by Army Tank back to my badly damaged, bullet strewn hotel with the Iraqi's voice resonating around my head. 

10 comments:

Munguin said...

Ah another political biography (attempt to re-write history to give themselves a rosy glow) by an ex-Tory prime minister up there on the shelf with that rambling claptrap “Statecraft” and that tedious drivel “More than a game” (what was that about anyway?). So much better than sleeping pills don’t you think. Nice to see such a warm reception for the Tories in Bahgdad. But of course everybody is a Tory these days, at least they all are but just won’t admit it out loud. There are the old Tories, the new Tories and the newest Tories! What a choice!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Mungers, What we need is some old Tories along the lines of McMillian. These types of Tories are often misunderstood. People said, "They're rich and come from long political families". Well, the fact that they were rich meant that they didn't have to fleece the British Public by sooking up to the Rothschilds and Arabs like Gadaffi to enrich themselves and their families. That cunt Blair is now trying to buy his eleventh house in the Carribean. Yes, they also came from long political families. But yes, is it not good to have a child hearing political argument and meeting powerful politicians, so that when he grows up he has a good understanding of how politics works? Because of these reasons they could do the best they could for the country without any other influences getting in the way. No, they were real Tories, not these fuckwits we have now. There is only a thin sheet of paper between them and Labour and they are all as corrupt as each other. Hang one in three and let the army take over for a year, until we get a proper written constitution and pass a law to say that no politician can earn more than 100k and as well as that we are restricting all wages in the Public Service to a maximum of £30k and there will be 80% tax for anyone earning more than £100k in the private sector.

Harbinger said...

LOL!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Harbingers, glad you enjoyed it.

MekQuarrie said...

Kate O'Sullivan tried a citizen's arrest on Citizen Blair in Dublin yesterday. She is a star...

The Hammond said...

Just read the interview with Blair in The Sunday Times... absolutely beggars belief. I actually felt physically sick reading it. The wankers ego is breathtaking.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Mekqarriers, good on her. I just wish she had succeeded just to see the look on that bastard Blair's face!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Hammonds, long time no hear. Where have you been? The problem is that he has now escaped reality. When you are looking for your eleventh property and it's in the Carribean then it must all be going to your head. Plus, since he's converted to Catholicism and met the Pope, he thinks he's got a direct line to some imaginary friend up in the Sky who's made him an Archangel. The man is a wanker. It's us who are the fuckwits for putting up with it.

banned said...

Tony Blairs Book Stoning would be more appropriate.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, a red hot poker up his arse would be the very cure for him!