The Scottish Women's sea swimming season started today in North Berwick, with the women of the douce Scottish town taking the first dip of the year, so far.
Their President, BIG JEAN, commented, "Aye, weel. It was a bit too warm for us this year. It was only minus five outside but the water was at a tepid plus two. Some of us had to break the ice which is unusual for sea water in these latitudes". "Some of the girls cheated by having a 'PISHY', which gave them wee hot patches to swim in. If we find who it was, they'll be thrown out of the club for CHEATING. It was probably those two big soft JESSIES from LONDON. They're no used to the delights of the mediterranean like conditions we get in the FIRTH of FORTH. Last year two of the lassies had to fight a POLAR BEAR. But after we barbequed it, we found the meat was a bit stringy and tasteless, not nearly as delicious as the PENGUINS we'd pot-roasted the year before.
10 comments:
Imagine being invaded by that lot, they're not heading south are they?
Braw women .
Anyway , I thought all the baby polar bears had drowned .
How long till the first wave strikes, I'm waiting with a large net, woman starved and ready to haul one aboard.
Lorenzo, they're on the way as we speak.
Aye, Oli, they'd take a bit of warming up first though!
Lorenzo, the one with thw black costume and the daffodill hat at the front is yours. She's also got buck teeth and a black eye. She probably kicked the shite out some guy in the pub last night! Anyway she's got your photo in case you miss each other in the rush.
The guys in the hi-viz jackets will be there to ensure no innapropriate behaviour goes on under water.
Banned, in North Berwick. How dare you! That'll be the health and safety men in case any passing whales get damaged.
Ugg, woke up all wet and smelling of fish this morning. Puddles on the floor and she wants to know if I have a dress she can borrow.
Lorenzo, give her a loan of your flipper tail and she can go as one of those sexy sirens!
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