Wednesday, 14 October 2009

FOLLOWERS' INFORMATION NOTICE-HOW TO GET A FREE WHEELIE BIN FROM THE COUNCIL!


Never let it be said I don't give you bastards good info. It has come to my attention from a source who will remain nameless, how to get an additional LANDFILL WHEELIE BIN.
If you have young children, (Rab), phone the council and tell them that you need another landfill bin because of the NUMBER OF SHITEY NAPPIES you have.
If your children are grown up, phone them and tell them that either you, YOUR PARTNER, or indeed both of you, PISH (or shit) YOURSELVES and you need another bin to take the INCONTINENCE PADS!
Sign a form, they never check your bin,
SORTED!
P.S. IT'S EASIER TO BLAME YOUR PARTNER.

8 comments:

banned said...

I see red ones and purple ones where I live, dunno what they are for as I don't want to get involved.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Thanks for the tip DL! But I can barely afford to fill ours as I work for a living but my dole scum neighbours have two which they manage to overfill every two weeks. How does that work then?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, seemingly they are very popular in certain parts of the country (UK), as an aid to burgarly. You break in to some gaff, nick a telly for instance, stow it in a wheelie bin and come back for it a couple of days later when the heats off. I don't think it make a difference what colour the bin is.

Dark Lochnagar said...

You say that now Rab, but just wait until the good lady drops your immenent sprog and you are up to your neck in shitey nappies. Even if you don't need it, don't you think that it would be a good sort of neighbourly thing to do if you invited your poor out of work neighbours to use it so that their's is not overflowing.

bins bins everywhere said...

I phoned my council when I thought someone had nicked my black bin. It turned out the numbnut neighbour couldn't fuckin read numbers ( foot high number on bin in white paint) and took mine by mistake. He didn't bother bringing it back of course. Far too fuckin neighbourly for round these parts. I found it lying at the side of our shared drive. The council delivered two that week and my original bin showed up. So now I can't move for bins. They're good for storing fishing rods and golf clubs in the shed though.So tell them your bin has been nicked and you're sorted.
Extra bins will be forthcoming.

Shades Of Ansel said...

Rats LOVE wheelie bins.In these days of equality,it's only right to build a design fault into bins which allows our little friends to hop in and out as often as they like,munching on our leftovers and leaving us their shit as a parting gratitude.Look at the back of your brown and green wheelie bins (NOT your blue ones,as it EVENTUALLY dawned on someone),and you'll see underneath,by the handle,a little hole either side.This is enough to let rats in,and jump out.A big,fuck-off rat can squeeze itself into the smallest of holes.I didn't know this until we had rats a few weeks ago.We had the ratcatcher out,who told us about the MASSIVE increase in work since wheelie bins were first introduced.Wouldn't you think that some prick at wheelie bin R&D would have thought about the DESIGN before wheeling the wheelies out to the whole fucking population? How much money went into their development?..and they MISSED a BASIC fault.i.e. Rats LOVE holes and food.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bins. That's why my fucking council tax is so high. They're supplying you with enough bins to store your fishing rods and stuff. Well good on you but remember to keep them in the hut or those stupid fucking bin men, sorry fucking environmental contractors may lift it and empty it into their truck

Dark Lochnagar said...

Ansel, I know that rats LOVE their hole that's why there is so many of the fuckers, they breed like rabbits, if you see what I mean. It's a bit like the Welsh and the Indians, (brown not red).