NEVER MIND ALL THIS ELECTION SHITE-HERE'S THE REAL NEWS!

Never mind all the BUZZ of the election.  The real BIG NEWS is that ABBA may be reforming.

FANTASTIC!  I think I've still got my 70s gear up in the loft.  Mind you, I'll need to go on a DIET TO GET INTO IT!

ARE THERE ANY WEE THINGS IN LIFE THAT ANNOY YOU?

Are there any small, inconsequential things in life that annoy you?

I'll tell you what it is with me.  I eat between 4 and 6 apples a day depending on what size they are, (healthy bastard), and you know those FUCKING LITTLE STICKERS the Supermarkets stick on them so the FUCKING THICK, CHECKOUT PERSON knows the difference between the particular varieties for charging, well why is it you CAN NEVER GET THE BASTARDS OFF!