NOW POPE BANS CATHOLICS FROM USING SCANNERS AFTER MUSLIMS ALSO BANNED

The Pope has spoken out over the use of full body scanners at airports, insisting that human dignity must be preserved.  He has said that it is immoral to show your MALE GENITALIA to anyone apart from your wife and the Priest.
The equipment has caused controversy because it makes those who pass through it appear naked. This came only days after MUSLIMS were also banned from using the scanners.

Good. Soon it will be only us Scots Proddies that are allowed on planes because we don't mind having our WEDDING TACKLE visible for all and sundry.   However, expect a ruling from the MODERATOR OF THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE CHURCH OF SCOTLAND, any day now.

MUSLIMS FORBIDDEN BY FATWA FROM USING NEW SCANNERS AT AIRPORTS!

Islamic scholars have forbidden Muslim travellers from passing through full body scans at airports because they violate religious rules on nudity.

The Fiqh Council of North America issued a fatwa, or religious ruling, yesterday warning Muslims not to go through the scanners.  ‘It is a violation of clear Islamic teachings that men or women be seen naked by other men and women,’ read the order. 

It is also a clear violation of my law, that if  I get on a plane some religious fuckwit isn't going to blow it up!  FUCK ME!  If it wasn't for them in the first place, we wouldn't need scanners.  OK Here's the agreement.  You stop blowing up planes and we'll stop looking at your wife's  THREEPENNY BITS! 

 Of course there is the other option, no scanner, you just don't get on.