Saturday, 13 February 2010

MUSLIMS FORBIDDEN BY FATWA FROM USING NEW SCANNERS AT AIRPORTS!

Islamic scholars have forbidden Muslim travellers from passing through full body scans at airports because they violate religious rules on nudity.
The Fiqh Council of North America issued a fatwa, or religious ruling, yesterday warning Muslims not to go through the scanners.  ‘It is a violation of clear Islamic teachings that men or women be seen naked by other men and women,’ read the order. 

It is also a clear violation of my law, that if  I get on a plane some religious fuckwit isn't going to blow it up!  FUCK ME!  If it wasn't for them in the first place, we wouldn't need scanners.  OK Here's the agreement.  You stop blowing up planes and we'll stop looking at your wife's  THREEPENNY BITS! 

 Of course there is the other option, no scanner, you just don't get on.

9 comments:

salman rushdy's revenge said...

It's a double bluff. The scanners aren't meant to check passengers before they get on the plane. They're designed to get a fatwa issued so that muslims can't get scanned and so muslims can't fly. The result is even better !
Only drawback of course is that their stuck in our country rather than Pakistan.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Salman, I've got a solution. We teach the fuckers to water ski and then we tow them out behind an empty oil tanker that's on its way to the middle east to re-fuel!

sturgeons tasty said...

Or maybe have the scanners to get into the country ? A play on the Hotel California song.
You can leave anytime you like but you can never come back.
The scans would be handy for a dating site though. Better than what they have at present anyway...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_swNTChgoLss/S3Z-vszZmQI/AAAAAAAABdQ/759JgT5FoxY/s1600-h/talibansingles.jpg

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sturgeon, That's a cracker. I'm going to post it at 5 with your permission.

sturgeon said...

DL no probs. I 'borrowed' it from muffled's site

http://muffledvociferation.blogspot.com/

scunnert said...

The erosion of liberty in the West is largely in reaction to Islamic threats to our liberty and security. That Islam is a political force in the West was a political calculation made by Western political elites for reasons undeclared but fairly obvious.

curse of jonah said...

Oops the Gorgon has come a cropper again.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yc-Lk62n49w/S3bHHHSwVoI/AAAAAAAADyI/5JdApNboTJs/s1600-h/Luge+Death+Rider+Gordon.jpg

Dark Lochnagar said...

Scunnert, Yes I was aware of the whole terrorism thing and the NWO but lighten up a wee bit it's Saturday night!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Cursers, that's a cracker, I can almost smell the shite from here. GOT's good at his photoshop, it must take ages.