BEER SHAMPOO STOPS BEING PRODUCED AFTER GOVERNMENT INTERVENTION!

Time has finally been called on Linco beer shampoo.

Manufacturers Church & Dwight said that after intervention by the UK Government over liver damage, the time had come to stop producing the product.

Minister of Health, Andrew Landsley has welcomed the announcement.  "We felt that the public should be protected from this product as some of them clearly felt that it was an alcoholic drink instead of a shampoo.  We have seen several patients admitted to A&E with very clean livers, whilst their hair was, in many cases, greasy as fuck". 

A patient who didn't want to be identified but is thought to come from Liverpool, said, "I used to drink 6 packets a night and even more at the weekend.  It's a lovely thick drink and always has an extra creamy head.  I don't know what I'll do now, probably having to drink that shitey Stella". 

Iman Hakim for Birmingham Mosque told us, "we in the Muslim faith are pleased that this vile product has been withdrawn from sale.  Some of our devout followers had been tempted into the ways of the Devil by licking it, as it dribbled down their faces, while they were shampooing their hair.  It will save us having to issue the call for a holy war to right the wrongs done against Islam by the Christian shampoo industry".

MUSLIM CHILDREN BANNED FROM SWIMMING DURING RAMADAN IN CASE THEY SWALLOW WATER AND BREAK THEIR FAST!

Swimming lessons in some Staffordshire schools should stop during Ramadan to ensure Muslim pupils "do not swallow water", a council has suggested.
Stoke-on-Trent City Council has issued an 11-page Ramadan guide for schools to help pupils who may be fasting when the school year starts in September.
It said swimming was acceptable to Muslims but posed a high risk of swallowing water that may break a fast.

FUCK ME!  I thought we were getting rid of this shite.  IS IT OK IF THEY SPIT IT OUT?  (I was going to make a comment about girls and gays there but I better not.)

h/t don't call me Dave

LIFE IN JAIL? JUST HANG THE BASTARDS!

The SCUM who plotted to bomb planes and kill all the occupants will be sentenced on Monday and are expected to get LIFE IMPRISONMENT.


"That will teach them a lesson and future radical Muslims will think twice about doing the same" bleated some BARONESS UNELECTED FUCK WIT, on the radio today.

NEVER MIND LIFE IN JAIL, THEY'RE BRITISH, THEY PLOTTED AGAINST BRITS, TAKE THE BASTARDS SOMEWHERE AND HANG THEM!

That will teach them a lesson, particularly when they find out THERE'S NO VIRGINS!