ALEX SALMOND KICKS THE METAPHORICAL SHITE OUT OF HOWARD ON QT

UFO THREATENS SENIOR TORY POLITICIAN!

A large triangular UFO was seen hovering in the skies above former home secretary Michael Howard's home, according to Ministry of Defence files.

A spokesman for the MOD, said, " it was hovering just above Mr Howard's house for over twenty minutes, then he came out for a fag and scared it away".