NORMAN WISDOM, 95 DIES UNAWARE OF HIS FOOTBALL GENIUS!

NORMAN WISDOM

Legendary 'comedian', Sir Norman Wisdom died yesterday, aged 95 blissfully unaware that he could have been England's finest footballer instead of the UNFUNNIEST FUCKER OF THE LAST CENTURY.

Wisdom was put into stage school aged 3, so it was strange that he was as unfunny as a juicy fart in a pair of white trousers.  Had his parents given him a normal childhood they would have realised that with his bendy legs and cheeky quip, he could have become even a greater footballer than the famous, Bobby Moore.
Alex Ferguson, boss of the Red Devils of Manchester, said yesterday, "Norman could have been one of the best.  I remember seeing him in a film made in 1952 and thinking what a great body swerve he had, if someone had only given him a ball.  As it was, he remains one of England's worst comedians.  How the fuck, he ever made any money is beyond me"!  Arsene Wenger, manager of the 'Gunners' said, "Oui, I recall seeing him in a film about your seaside town of Margate and thinking, what an unfunny cunt he is.  I prefer Le Francaise, Claude Chevall, what a funny fucker he was"!  England manager, Capello, told DL, "Si, I am remembering him.  This is the one with zi hitler mustashe and walking pole, no?

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