Tuesday, 5 October 2010

NORMAN WISDOM, 95 DIES UNAWARE OF HIS FOOTBALL GENIUS!

NORMAN WISDOM

Legendary 'comedian', Sir Norman Wisdom died yesterday, aged 95 blissfully unaware that he could have been England's finest footballer instead of the UNFUNNIEST FUCKER OF THE LAST CENTURY.
Wisdom was put into stage school aged 3, so it was strange that he was as unfunny as a juicy fart in a pair of white trousers.  Had his parents given him a normal childhood they would have realised that with his bendy legs and cheeky quip, he could have become even a greater footballer than the famous, Bobby Moore.
Alex Ferguson, boss of the Red Devils of Manchester, said yesterday, "Norman could have been one of the best.  I remember seeing him in a film made in 1952 and thinking what a great body swerve he had, if someone had only given him a ball.  As it was, he remains one of England's worst comedians.  How the fuck, he ever made any money is beyond me"!  Arsene Wenger, manager of the 'Gunners' said, "Oui, I recall seeing him in a film about your seaside town of Margate and thinking, what an unfunny cunt he is.  I prefer Le Francaise, Claude Chevall, what a funny fucker he was"!  England manager, Capello, told DL, "Si, I am remembering him.  This is the one with zi hitler mustashe and walking pole, no?

27 comments:

banned said...

The only people who ever thought Norman sad cunt Wisdom was funny were the Albanians. No wonder they behave as they do when they arrive here, thinking that we are all gormless fuckers like him.

Anonymous said...

What a couple of saddo's you two are. Can't you go and spend your time doing something useful? Picking up litter, or help the aged.....

banned said...

DL, are you going to tell anonycunt or will I?

lindalu said...

What rubbish. Happened on this site accidentally & was disgusted to read your comments. Norman was funny, good clean humour, no swearing or smut. My mum used to love his films & laughed all the way through. And believe me there wasn't much for her to smile about never mind laugh. Go find yourself a life instead of pillorying other more popular famous people.

better than today's 'comedy' said...

Well he was funnier than most of the shite we have to put up with today. All those left wing, love actually wankers from 'Mock the Week','Never Mind the Buzzcocks etc etc....
And at least I could watch the films with my kids without having to worry about some clever fucker swearing and being generally obnoxious.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, well he wasn't my cup of tea, but it appears we may be in the minority. How anyone can find someone funny who falls over all the time is beyond me. Maybe it's because I'm Scots and don't get English humour.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anonymous, fuck off. You know nothing about us. Prick.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I'm going to have to ban these anonymous fuckers again, they are incapable of debating a point.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Lindalu, welcome to the blog. We discuss many things on here and if you read it, you will see we debate adult issues and I am not always in the right. Now I'm happy your mum found him funny, , but you haven't told us if you did. I have gone to the trouble of getting quotes from three respected football bosses, whose opinion is that he could have been a fine footballer. I hope you haven't been put off by my opinion and that you return and add your comments to the opinion.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Better, let's just say he was from a different era. If you want to watch kids' entertainment, watch the lion king. He certainly wasn't my idea of adult humour.

Billy said...

I used to think he was funny when I was young and then I wondered what I was laughing about when I grew up. Then I realised it was because I had grown up.

The last time I read anything about him was in one of the Mini magazines because it was his favourite car and he was a regular visitor to John Cooper Garages. The original Mini that is - not the kiddy-on new one that should have been named the Maxi instead because of its size.

Norman was of his time and will hardly be remembered in the future while his favourite car is a growing cult all over the world now.

Budvar said...

Humour is subjective, and to a greater extent regional. I used to like Norman as a kid, but then as Billy says I grew up.

Bare in mind other comics of the day, Charlie fucking Drake, Benny hill (Americans still think he's fucking hilarious, so I rest my case on that one).

Having given some thought to what's funny (or what I find funny) is the association of the character with people you know.

I used to like Mike Harding, his tales of growing up were so similar to mine, he just cracked me up. The young un watches crap like that Catherine Tate and Little Britain, it's obviously a generational thing, as I think it's complete and utter shite.

That Harry Hill, sorry but I just don't get it. That said I've never quite understood all the silly faces, falling down and cream pies in the face gags.

I used to like Rab Nesbit and Jamsie Cotter, and I think what made them quite popular was you (or at least I did) knew people just like them, but they came from all over not just Glasgow.

There used to be a program I think called Naked video, I don't ever recall it being shown in England at the time and that's where the Rab character came from. There was also another character who was the fundamentalist Scots nat supporter who would be seen riding his bike down a quiet country lane to the English border and shout "POOFS" then turn around and cycle away. I still had a chuckle to myself just thinking about it, again what makes it funny (at least to me) is I know people just like it.

Blind Pugh said...

As Mr Banned pointed out, the fact that only Albanians thought of the dear departed as some sort of comic genius pretty much tells you all you need to know about the unfunny cunt. I'd sooner have laughed at the sight of kittens being gassed than Sir Norman's gurnings and pratfalls.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Billy, I was listening to a thing on Radio2 when I was in the Gym today and I've no doubt he was a very nice man. He seemed yo come from a broken home and was really poor when he was young. Not like the fuckers today, whose idea of being poor is whether to have special brew or cider. That doesn't take away from the fact however, that for adults with a modicum of intelligence, he was fucking unfunny. But, then again that might just be me as I don't watch all that 'Big Brother' gendre shite on TV. I bet you Lindalu above does!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budvar, As you say humour is subjective. I must admit I used to quite like Benny Hill, I think it was the half naked women. It certainly wasn't the humour. Charlie Drake allegedly once said to a Stewardess on a plane, "What would you say to a little fuck"? she replied, "Hello, lttle fuck"!

All that stuff from BBC Scotland like 'naked video' was excellent and there was some funny guys and guyesses working there at that time. I still think Billy Connelly is the funniest man on the planet. He's just to come on the stage and I'm pissing myself already.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Blind Shug, welcome to the blog. I thought at one time today it was just me and Banned, who thought Norman Wisdom was the unfunniest fucker on the planet, well apart from Charlie Drake, that is. He did play a lot of straight parts which I had forgotten about and he was quite good in them.

banned said...

Charlie Drake, he was a cunt too, dredged from my deepest denialist past.
Kiddy fiddling cunt.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I had forgotten that. Did he not come up with the usual, 'I was abused when I was young' pish?

RantinRab said...

Budvar, the guy you refer to is from 'absolutely'. Most of the full episodes are on YouTube. Top stuff.

As for the rest of you who are 'disgusted' with DL's ramblings, go fuck yourselves up the hoop with a rusty garden fork. I couldn't give a flying fuck if your mummy liked Norman Wisdom or not.

Daily Mail reading cunts.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Roberto, I thank you for your support!

Disappointed said...

That's sad. Thought you were better than that DL. I know you won't give a fuck but .... just sad, that's all.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Disappointed, actually you're wrong. I stick many things up here playing the devil's advocate to get a response. In this particular case, I'm sorry but I don't think Norman Wisdom was funny. It says everything when he was big in Albania because it was the only 'safe' thing the Government felt they could show on state television which was only on for four hours a night. Fuck me, imagine watching Norman Wisdom every night. I don't know what you mean by 'I thought you were better than that'?

Was Disappointed (and a bit drunk...) said...

Maybe I'm a simple old sod (the memsahib thinks so) but my reasoning is this: Norman never did anyone any harm, he also made a large number of people happy - how many of us will be able to say that when the Reaper comes calling?

As my old Aikido teacher used to say, "Not to understand a man's purpose does not make HIM confused..."

Norman may have been many things but I can't agree that he was a cunt

Dark Lochnagar said...

Disappointed and a bit drunk, as was I when I did the post. Anyway it wasn't me who called him an unfunny cunt, it was the French fucker Arsene Wenger. Mind you where he picked up the general use of the word 'cunt' that we have in Scotland, where it is often used playfully as the English might call someone, 'a right old/fucker/bastard', I have no idea! Time to stop digging methinks.

lindalu said...

Rantinrab, don't speak about my mother in that tone. You have no idea what you're talking about. DL, yes I found Norman to be funny & no, I don't watch Big Brother, not even if I was paid to do so.
As for the the Scots use of the word used to describe NW, my late mother in law was from Glasgow & I never once heard her use the term. You & Rabtinidiot are just foul mouthed, narrow minded & intellectually challenged.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Lindalu, FFS get a life.

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