WHY SHOULD PEOPLE DO COMPUSLORY WORK?

I'm almost ashamed at writing this.  But here goes:

According to the Maily Dale,

• Work-shy benefit claimants will be forced to do compulsory work in exchange for welfare under radical rules imposed in Parliament today.

•  The unemployed could be instructed to do ‘Mandatory Work Activity’ under a controversial new programme outlined by Work and Pensions Minister Chris Grayling.

• It is thought that they will have to pick up litter, mend fences or help repaint care homes.

• Jobseekers would have to spend up to 30 hours a week, for a month, on their work placement and would still have to look for work in between.

When I say almost ashamed it's for this reason.  Like everyone else, I would hope my taxes are not being squandered paying for some bastard to sit on their arse watching the TV.  That's the first reaction.

But then you think.  Hold on a minute.  They are the ones, according to certain people who claim to know about these things, that are causing the unemployment in the first place, by cutting too deep.  So, if they get away with this, where does it stop?  Do all the unemployed getting, £65 per week have to work a 30 hour week?  I thought we had a minimum wage?  What happens to all the peoples' jobs, who currently do the painting, mending fences and picking up litter?  Do they become unemployed and then have to do the same job for a third of the money?  Do we just become slaves?

Fine you say.  I'm not a painter.  Is a case of, first they come for the jobs of the painters, then it's the shop assistants, factory workers, waiters, van drivers?  Where the fuck does it stop?  Bosses, will take all the cheap labour you can give them... I know, I was one and run a substantial business.

Do you know where it will stop?  With the jobs of the politicians, their families and the elite.  So remember that when some van driver tells you, what a good job the coalition are doing, getting the unemployed back to work and off benefits!

LABOUR MINISTER EARNING £96K CLAIMS WOMEN NEED EXPENSES FOR CLEANERS!

Labour Minister, Helen Goodman the Labour MP for Bishop Auckland who earns £96,167 claims that women will be put off becoming MPs if they are not allowed to claim expenses for cleaners.

"It's not fair" she bleated "women do most of the cleaning and we need money to pay our cleaners. I aways pay my cleaner 10 pence over the minimum wage to encourage her. After tax and national insurance she nearly has enough to pay her bus fare home some weeks, if she buys a super saver ticket"! " and it's not as if I even ask her to wash my clatty knickers" she added, " they're usually so badly encrusted after a day sitting on the Government benches that I put them straight in the bucket, before my husband gets home and sniffs them".

" He's a pervert, don't you know, loves nothing better than to walk about the house with a pair of my dirty knickers on over his head. He says the rancid whiff helps to clear his head after a long day. Some days he even eats his consomme through them although the pheasant casserole out of Marks can present a problem. The jelly however is usually manageable unless the cook uses too much gelatin."

For further details go to www.howtoeatapairofcrustyknickers.com

BROWN SACKS BROTHER-MOTHER EMPLOYED AS NEW CLEANER!

GORDON'S OLD MUM CLEANS THE EXECUTIVE TOILET BLOCK AT NO 10

In a shock move today, THE GREAT LEADER, sacked his BROTHER after the controversy surrounding his employment as CLEANER IN NO 10.

In an equally shock move, his OLD MUM, INDHIRA, has been brought out of retirement and forced to clean up after Gordon and Sarah.

"I was enjoying my retirement", Indhira said, "but if my son needs me, I'll see what I can do".

"I must admit though, I didn't think I'd be clearing out the SHITEHOUSE on my first day" she laughed "and that SARAH could SHITE FOR SCOTLAND."

It is also reported that BROWN is paying her well below the minimum wage because she is a pensioner.

"But to be fair" she says, "he does let me fix all the broken mobiles and printers that he flings around and if I can fix them he lets me sell them to his Cabinet Colleagues. "I got good money off Jack Straw last week for a NOKIA 98 for his son's Christmas", she chortles!

DAVID CAMERON, THE CONSERVATIVE LEADER SAYS, " I'm fucking seething! " I wanted a NOKIA for my wife's Birthday, now I'll need to buy one and put it on my exes, fucking one-eyed BASTARD"!

More rumours later..........