Sunday, 30 January 2011

ANDY MURRAY OFFICIALLY DESIGNATED AS BEING SCOTTISH


After defeat in the Australian Open Tennis Final earlier today, Andy Murray has officially been designated a Scot.


All talk of the first Brit to win a Grand Slam since Fred Perry has been downgraded to a, "I wish Tim Henman was still playing, at least he smiled when he got gubbed in the Semis".  Talk on Twitter has been even more scathing with one contributor, blaming the SNP and Alex Salmond and saying that Murray has "an iron bar up his arse"!


His Mother's choice of clothes for the final, was equally critcised, with Linda McCartney, saying "that she looked as if she shopped at Oxfam".  One Scottish contributor, (me), asked the question, "are all Serbians, Gay", after the two coaches of the victor were seen holding hands and kissing.


It is reported that the LTA are secretly pleased that Murray got beat as the thought of 5000 drunken Tartan Army Scots rampaging across the hallowed lawns and taking, Tim's 'Henman Hill', are too horrific to contemplate.

6 comments:

sweaty sock said...

Tennis is for poofs

English fucker said...

Useless Scotch bastart

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sweaters, we were discussing this on Twatter earlier and we came to the conclusion that netball, basketball, sychronised diving and rounders were for poofs.

Dark Lochnagar said...

English Fucker, that he is, but he is OUR FUCKER and don't you fucking forget it!

Anonymous said...

Darkie

One thing that needs to be pointed out to "English Fucker" is that great tennis legend tiny tim never lost a set in a grand slam final. I wonder why???

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anonymous, while I appreciate your comment, I feel that I should point out that I used the phrase, "I wish Tim Henman was still playing, at least he smiled when he got gubbed in the Semis". Perhaps, I was being too subtle. Not like me I agree. :)