Monday, 31 January 2011

ROYAL WEDING SOUVENIRS AVAILABLE AT DISCOUNT FROM DL SALES



Their forthcoming nuptials have already spawned an avalanche of kitsch. Now, the latest souvenir off the production line will have Prince William and Kate Middleton immortalised in, er, wool.
The interactive book Knit Your Own Royal Wedding, which goes on sale in March, enables readers to craft the year's most talked-about marriage in yarn.


The book is available now at a special discounted rate of £19.98 from DL Enterprises, where four equal monthly payments of only £4.99 can be arranged by quoting your bank account number and three digit security code on the back of your debit card.  Cheques and cash are also acceptable.  This is just the first in a line of special wedding souvenirs which will be available.  Leave your account number now, to avoid disappointment.

16 comments:

Budvar said...

Cheques payable to Creative Arts society Haberdashery or just use the acronym C.A.S.H for short..

subrosa said...

I thought you'd be competing with the royal wedding condom company.
http://bit.ly/dNcIBX

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, oh and just leave the amount blank in case the price goes down, I wouldn't want to overcharge.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rosie, that's just gross. I would never offer something as tasteless as that on here!

Billy said...

If the condoms are tasteless why don't they produce them in a flavoured variety?

Down in the smoke said...

We're full of scams down here. The latest is Seb Coe, Lord of the rings, recruiting 70,000 unpaid helpers or "Games Makers" as they will be called, to participate in a once in a lifetime experience.
Lured by the prospect of carrying Usain Bolt's lunchbox at the 100m final, the other 69,999 are unlikely to find out until later that their role will be to point bemused foreigners to the overflowing toilets, the McDonalds Olympic emporium, and in the right direction towards the trains out of Stratford, and not the ghettos of Hackney, just a gunshot away.
The brilliance of the scheme is that there's no shortage of punters lining up to sign on.

http://www.london2012.com/news/2011/01/london-2012-launches-volunteer-interview-programme-to-fi.php

Knit that, Jimmy!

tris said...

Ah, Down in the smoke. The unemployment issue solved in a flash. And Giant Haystack Boris gets his Olympics on the cheap.

People who turn them down, of course, need not expect any dole money in the next 3 years. 3 weeks work experience.

I'm going to visit London and wander around the games area with my Pepsi hat, Burger King T-shirt, and Air France Jacket, singing Down with Cameron, Cameron is a Donkey (I got the idea from an Egyptian I saw on telly tonight),just to see if any of the Met thugs try to pepper spray me...

tris said...

PS...anyone seen the commemorative mugs with the couple's initials intertwined...

W and C...

Says it all really doesn't it?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Billy, do you think if their blood is blue, there love juices are too?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smikers, you mean it's a bit of a con? Mrs DL and I had put our name down as Cockney flowersellers because I can do a fucking good 'Chimcimenee' song. I have even lined up my nephews to sweep chimneys.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, see if you can get the fuzz to pepperspray your Big Mac or whatever you get from Burgerking to give it some fucking taste.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, I've been puzzling to see why you would call them Wanker and Cunt?

tris said...

Why DL? Is it not obvious?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, no I saw the WC bit, but I was puzzled as I said. It must just be my sweary mind!

banned said...

A cheap and tawdry gimcrack which leaves me astonished that you would have anything to do with it DL especially after you fucked me off over the T-Towel deal.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I feel kind of bad about the tea towel thing. Now I know you're not one for credit cards but I accept debit cards or you can send cash, because, I'm will int to give you a 1.99 discount on the knitting book!