After defeat in the Australian Open Tennis Final earlier today, Andy Murray has officially been designated a Scot.
All talk of the first Brit to win a Grand Slam since Fred Perry has been downgraded to a, "I wish Tim Henman was still playing, at least he smiled when he got gubbed in the Semis". Talk on Twitter has been even more scathing with one contributor, blaming the SNP and Alex Salmond and saying that Murray has "an iron bar up his arse"!
His Mother's choice of clothes for the final, was equally critcised, with Linda McCartney, saying "that she looked as if she shopped at Oxfam". One Scottish contributor, (me), asked the question, "are all Serbians, Gay", after the two coaches of the victor were seen holding hands and kissing.
It is reported that the LTA are secretly pleased that Murray got beat as the thought of 5000 drunken Tartan Army Scots rampaging across the hallowed lawns and taking, Tim's 'Henman Hill', are too horrific to contemplate.
Andy Murray is still dithering about one aspect of his Wimbledon strategy - whether to bow to the Queen.
The 'crabbit bastard' Scot says he hasn't quite decided how to acknowledge Her Majesty's first visit to the All England Club in 33 years. His comments are casting a cloud over the tournament even before it gets underway today, and they set him apart from a raft of top players who said they would be delighted to bow or curtsy to the Royal Box on Centre Court.
Personally I think the decision should be up to him. Would I? I'm not sure. I come from a family where my father stood up for 'God Save the Queen' when it used to be played at the end of that night's TV transmission, into the 70s I think. I don't really feel that the Queen is my monarch. The Royals have chosen to live in England since the reign of James the Sixth, that's the First to you English persons. I don't believe the royals sojourn up here for the Braemar Highland Games in September, trailing Charles and 'horse-face' with them, who then insist in dressing up like something off a shortbread tin, is honouring their commitment to being Scottish monarchs.
I really don't believe in the whole set-up anyway. Why do they need all these Royal residences. Fuck me, there's literally hundreds of them. What are they doing in these times of economic downturn? How much less money is the Queen taking from the public purse this year? Is she going to spend some of her own money? What the fuck do we need her for anyway? To dress up a couple of times a year and read out a prepared statement at the opening of Parliament?
No, all in all, I think I might nod in her direction but although I admire her personally, albeit not the rest of her tribe, I DON'T THINK I WOULD BE BOWING.
