Tuesday, 11 January 2011

2 GIANT PANDAS, TOE MEE AND GAY HEEL SHELIDAN COME TO EDINBURGH



 At a historic trade signing deal yesterday, an agreement was signed on the terms of cooperation in the protection of and research into Giant Pandas between the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland (RZSS) and the China Wildlife Conservation Association (CWCA).  That's all right then.  It will the gives the staff in Edinburgh Zoo, something to look at as they are serving  MacDonalds, to fat weans, the same size as the pandas.

The pandas, already called ToeMee and GayHeel, have been brought here to breed, something they failed to do in China, due to ToeMee's insistence in nipping off to velly nice Chinese prostitute called Rirry, where unfortunately an alternation took place after, Rirry fed ToeMee, gave him good fucking and ToeMee pissed off without paying, shouting, "look it up in Dictionary".  Rirry looked up Giant Panda and the entry read, "Giant Panda-eats, roots, chutes and leaves".  (OK, I accept MOST people have heard it.).

ToeMee has been reported to be not too happy with the Scottish climate and has already booked a number of sunbeds in and around Edinburgh.  He may have to cancel them however, because for the first time in 50 years, he has been guilty of perjury in a CIVIL law case.  Strange that. 
 I'm sure it wouldn't happen in China, but then the PTB aren't as strong there yet!

12 comments:

banned said...

I remember this Panda mating bollox at London Zoo in the 1970s, didn't work becuase the bloke Panda was a gayer.

GayHeel WTF? Is that a hint?

ToeMee WTF? Some strange sex fetish ?

Toni said...

They are probably both female Pandas - they are already sporting the 2 black eyes favoured by women from Leith.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, it was a fucking clever reference to Tommy and Gail Sheridan, who recently was done for perjury in a case against the 'News of the World'. I'm sure it must have been reported in England. It was all over the MSN here.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Antonio, in my father's day, Leith Walk was where you got a whore in Edinburgh, or so he said. The keepers should have a look at the females fanny, to see what kind of shape it's in, (round!, I hear you shout), as it may have been well used in Peking or Beijing or whatever they call it now and we might be getting a dud. After all, bamboo shoots cannae be cheap in Edinburgh.

Bill said...

So Edinburgh Zoo is the 'in place' for swinging pandas to hang out?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bill, it certainly looks that way. They should just put them in with the monkeys. I wonder if they'll be a shagging time, like you have a feeding time for the penguins?

Clarinda said...

Watched a programme the other night about a Chinese 'panda farm'. Apparently it's not the females that are the problem so much as .......... not wishing to make too fine a point, the anatomical 'short-comings' of the male panda. How the chilly blasts of Corstorphine Hill will affect this predicament will no doubt be revealed ..or not.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Clarindas, do you imagine we will get a swatch of a panda willy? I feel that would be too much for me, but then again I don't watch 'Eastenders' either!

banned said...

Panda Traffiking is a stain on our decent democracy, this pandering to pervert Pandaphilia must stop Now!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, Edinburgh is rife with Pandphelia. They even have a festival for it in August. I believe you can even get it now on porn sites!

INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

Ahh panda, the best bush meat! Sorry banned couldn't resist it.

Dark Lochnagar said...

INCOMING!!!! Banned is very fond of a bit of bush!