Monday, 22 November 2010


Queen to be Catherine Middleton, has agreed to decapitation should she not manage to furnish the Royal family with a healthy male heir.

Dr David Starkey, the well known historian, talk show arsehole and Gay rent boy shagger, who has been retained by the Royals to explain the protocol to the Middleton family.

"It has been the custom for hundreds of years, that any Queen Catherine who fails to produce a male heir is liable to be decapitated, by her husband.  This goes back to King Henry V11, the father of good King Hal, who had the decapitation clause entered into his pre-nuptials, by Thomas Cramner, whose ancestor now plays central midfield for Aston Villa", said Starkey writing in this month's 'Musclemen' magazine, where he has been chosen as the 'Gay Hunk' of the month.


Crinkly & Ragged Arsed Philosophers said...

Surely DL you mean "To a pre-nuptial agreement containing a beheading clause.

While both are airheads and the loss of one may be of little consequence it could create confusion as to which orifice the required heir could be spawned in.

Royal watcher said...

I'm sure the Duke would be happy to give her one if Wills turns out like his uncle Eddie.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Crinkly arse, his is true. I think personally he would have been better shagging one of the maids and got a bit of respectability into their genes.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Watcher, I've no doubt his father would instruct a footman to give her one for the sake of the family