Sunday, 10 October 2010

MEXICO KILLED IN DRUG FEUD!

The scene of the crime.
MEXICO CITY—In the latest incident of drug-related violence to hit the country, all 111 million citizens of Mexico were killed yesterday, during a shoot-out between rival drug cartels.
According to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration, the violence was sparked by a botched drug deal involving an estimated 20 kilograms of marijuana, a dispute that led low-level members of the Sinaloa cartel to open fire on local dealers in Culiacán. Within seconds, the gunfire had spread to Chihuahua, Michoacán, Yucatán, and, minutes later, the other 27 Mexican states, leaving every person in Mexico dead.
"We're still piecing together details, but it looks as though the incident began as an act of retaliation against Sinaloa by two foot soldiers from the Los Zetas cartel," DEA administrator Michele Leonhart said. "The Gulf and Tijuana cartels then responded before being ambushed by La Familia Michoacána and Los Negros. At that point, witnesses reported hearing roughly 357 million gunshots, during which time the Mexican populace was caught in the crossfire and killed."
"A four-gram bag of cocaine was also recovered by agents," Leonhart added.
Leonhart said the DEA has sealed off the 761,606-square-mile crime scene, which is littered with bullet-riddled bodies and assault rifles, and splattered with blood.
Click pic to enlarge
The DEA investigation has so far determined that 20 million of the victims were murdered in the shoot-out while driving, biking, or walking to their homes, and that stray bullets killed another 8 million people watching the violence from their windows or balconies. An additional 1 million sons who set out to avenge the deaths of their fathers were annihilated in the final minutes while attempting to settle the score.Authorities also confirmed that a number of Mexican residents were immediately taken hostage by gangs, but all 20 million were murdered execution style when relatives failed to pay their ransom to local drug lords.

16 comments:

It's another tequila sunrise said...

I'd like to know where the parents were during all this wanton violence.
The government can only do so much but once the parents give up then we may as well all give up. Did the parents not ask where their children were during this outrage ?
Tequila Sunrises are one of my favourite drinks .

banned said...

There is always a last man standing Who was he? not Bruce willis I hope.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tequila early dark, yes the parents are always to blame. I blame my father for making me the twisted fucker I am today! Quite fond of a Margarita.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, no it was a Snr Juan Cordobes, who fortunately for him had a bellyful of Tequila Sunrises the night before and was in the shitter all day. As such he managed to escape the wanton destruction, although it is fair to say his arsehole is in need of plastic surgery which he has arranged to get done in Guatamala as he is now the richest man in the World, having inherited all of Mexico's wealth.

McGonagall said...

Apropos of nothing at all: What's better than being deep in the heart of Texas? Being six inches in Virginia.

banned said...

Apropos of it being Sunday morning:
My Nan had a stroke from the shock of catching me wanking in the kitchen.
She's got lovely hands.

HeadsonPoles said...

Maybe it isn't beef in tacos, maybe it's dead drug type people and that's why they taste so nice.

The ground looks like that place in Hungry.
Mmmm Hungry, want a taco ...

Phil McCavity said...

DL. Do you perchance have a fetching picture of the new Shadow Health Minister ?
I seem to remember it used to adorn the top of your blog and was very tasty.

Dark Lochnagar said...

McGonners, or as Mandelson would say, "being big in Kentucky". He sure likes his chicken fried crispy!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, 'apropos' my arse. Will you bastards stop using fancy words to kid on your Oxbridge educated like our Politicos. I had to look the fucking thing up.

Your Nan gives an excellent wank, BTW.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson,they maybe bought that shite you get in the shops, fucking 'Old El Paso', or something. It tasted like the bottom of a budgie cage.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Phillis, it was indeed very tasty but to be honest with you I was wanting a pic of her big black fanny. You see I just bought a black leather couch and I was wondering how it would look with pink cushions. That'll be a nice wee six figure salary. You'll see her dropping 'This Week', like a shot now!

Harbinger said...

Lol,

Banned said:

"There is always a last man standing Who was he? not Bruce willis I hope."

Nope, I doubt it, more likely to be Tarantino's cock throb - Danny Trejo

;)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Harbingers, I wish I was that ugly and that rich! Although the rich, would do fine.

Harbinger said...

LOL@DL

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