Thursday, 7 October 2010

ADULTS WITH SWEATY ARMPITS BANNED FROM CARS AND THEIR OWN HOMES IF CHILDREN PRESENT



Parents should be banned from HAVING SMELLY ARMPITS  in their own homes and private cars, a Government health chief said today.

Dr Tony Jewell, chief medical officer for Wales, said that stopping people not deodorising  in their own homes would protect their children from the dangers of passive B.O.
But furious opponents said the ban would be a breach individuals' right to privacy.

However, Dr Jewell said it was 'unfair for children to bear the brunt of other people's habits' - and it was time to make a change.
Dr Tony Jewell, chief medical officer for Wales

He said: 'As a society, creating such a measure is a powerful statement of intent about our commitment to the health of our children.


    'It could be seen as the final piece of the protection picture or at least adding to the growing public consensus on the social acceptability of having OXTER GUFF.' (Scottish expression)!
    He said,   'People know that not deodorising is a dangerous habit, but choose to ignore the facts'.


     

    20 comments:

    Norman Spack M.D. said...

    I work with a bloke who smells like mince and onions.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Norm, was that his farts or just in general?

    banned said...

    Wot about the dead women whose breast cancer was caused by having several pounds (lbs) of chemical residues in their body fat, infused (?) directly from roll on under-arm deoderants?

    Never use the shite meself and there is nothing worse under the sun than standing in the tube next to a sweating teen whose skanky odour is worsened by cheap deoderant.

    banned said...

    DL. just for your eyes only.


    English Scottish relations

    ie, not for anybody else.

    Bill said...

    Why does Britain have a 'Chief Medical Officer' and the three of the home nations have a 'Chief Medical Officer' and England the black sheep of the family doesn't?

    Questions need to be asked in the house. We English need a fuckwit of our very own to pontificate on unproven, unenforceable bullshit.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Banned, I like to keep myself smelling like a rose! BTW what's wrong with that Scotch fucker, when he didn't mention Ayr Utd?

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Willy, Yes there are many things wrong with devolution. I suppose since Scotland and Wales have devolved health, the UK twat is all yours!

    Mrs Hague said...

    What about cockbreath ? I make him use Fishermans Friends at the moment but am worried about his weight. Any ideas ?

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Mrs Hague, might I suggest you use the 'sugar free' option. It will also help to take the taste of David's cum out of his mouth. A nuisance when one wants to give a speech or greet Arab statesmen as they don't like the whiff of a skanky mouth. Another tip is to eat a raw onion or even a clove of garlic, which goes down particularly well with French fuckers, when you pretend to greet them affectionately.

    Budvar said...

    Sucking on a Fishermans friend?
    Isn't that how he got the skanky mouth in the first place?

    He never mentioned Cally Thistle either.
    He (the Scotch cunt) did have a point though, 13 years of Labour run by a majority Scottish cabinet should put paid to any talk of an independent Scotland once and for all.

    To be fair though they did have help from the likes of that cunt Blunkett.
    But then even his guidedog hates him.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Budders, I believe that sucking a fishermen's friend could be a sexual offence as you maintain.

    There's a good few Scots in the current cabinet though, Fox, Gove, Alexander and Cameron must have some Scots ancestry with a name like that. I think there might even be more but I can't think of them offhand.

    You forgot to mention the Prince of Darkness, Mandelsom, who IMO was the skankiest cunt of all!

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Budders, sorry I forgot, Moore, Ian Duncan Smith and Lord Strathclyde. Cameron's father was of course Scottish and his family have a country seat near Inverness, built by his Grandfather. I didn't know but have since discovered that his family are from a line of William iv and one of his whores. So there you go. I think that's probably more than was in Labour's cabinet?

    Harbinger said...

    DL,

    Is this post a wind up? I know you drop the odd clanger here and there to tease us all, but tell me this is one of them please?

    Budvar said...

    The Libcons haven't had time yet to seriously fuck up, but there's time yet.

    As for Mandelscum, he's from that London. That kind of explains why he's shiftier than a shit house rat.
    As for his old constituency of Hartlepool, the only way they wouldn't return a labour MP is if they stuck the red rosette on a monkey. They wouldn't know whether to vote for it or hang the fucker. That said, one doesn't necessarily preclude the other.

    Mrs Hague said...

    Thanks for the tips re garlic etc DL.
    He's off to the middle east next week so he spent the day at Birmingham zoo tasting camel bottoms.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Harbingers, of course! I have changed 'smoking' to 'smelly armpits'as you will have seen from the excellent link that I forgot to put in. I bet you this Dr Jewell character is one of our big nosed friends, but I can't dig up his info.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Budders, well the monkey was a French spy after all! It's a pity they didn't hang that fucker, the Lord of the rings or better still stick a red, hot poker up his.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Mrs Hague, I recommend for his Arab trip that he eats a large amount of shite, just before getting off the plane. Failing that he could just lick his aide's arse. now FOR FUCK'S SAKE, tell him not to ask for a bacon butty for his breaky, as the Arab is not to keen on pigs, like his Jewish counterpart. Fuck! I've just realised they have something in common. Let the peace talks begin!

    Susan "Cure Sweaty Armpits" Adams said...

    Is this demolishing people with a hyperhydrosis? Why not give them a activities or medical seminar to prevent them from excessive sweating or for good hygiene.

    Dark Lochnagar said...

    Suse, welcome to the blog. If I knew what hyperhydrosis was I would be able to comment more adequately. However another seminar, sounds a splendid idea and while we're at it what about another quango. I offer to be it's head, of course for the usual 2 day a month remuneration of £100,000 pa and a final salary pension as I always do my oxters before going out unlike some other smelly bastards on this blog, like Banned, 'who ere he be, lets his oxter guff gang free' as Rabbie Burns would have put it.