Thursday, 16 September 2010
GEORGE MICHAEL LOCKED IN SOLITARY FOR 'SAFETY OF OTHER INMATES'
After arriving at Pentonville Prison in a chauffeur driven car, unlike his fellow prisoners who were transported in an old truck, pop-pixie George Michael was locked in a solitary confinement for the safety of the other prisoners.
Prison Governor, Jack, 'the lad', Fletcher told D.L., "if Michael thinks he is coming here to shag the fuck out of the other inmates and do their drugs, he's got another thing coming. He can just sit in his cell and 'choke his chicken' at the male porn films we have provided for his stay. Not that he'll get any special privileges, just because he's a multi-millionaire, who may like to contribute to my pension. If, when his dinner is delivered from the Ritz, he'll just have to have his butler heat it up in the microwave, I have provided. There is no way we are going to get him ESPN as well as the full Sky package and a subscription to 'Gay' TV and I've told him that I won't allow his rent boys to stay in his cell for any longer than three hours at a time and if I hear any of the bastards orgasming then it's going to cost him extra.
There have been some 'careless whispers' that George Michael is getting special treatment, but I can assure the great British Public, that that is not the case. Oh BTW did I tell you about my retirement plans..."