Thursday, 15 July 2010

WHAT'S THE WEATHER GOING TO BE IF IT SNOWS ON ST. SWITHIN'S DAY?

ME, THIS MORNING, SWEEPING THE PATH!

I know all this shite about it raining for 40 days and 40 nights if it rains today, St. Swithin's day, but WHAT HAPPENS IF IT SNOWS?

10 comments:

Sophia Pangloss said...

Here that's some size o' a snawflake that's landit oan yer back. Ah aye kent it wis a bit rough doon yer neck o' the woods, but ah nivver thocht that included the weather.

That's a right cheeky smile ye're wearin...

Key bored warrior. said...

last time I saw a stern like that it was steaming doon the Clyde.

talking of arses:


A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up
ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I
don't know what hole I'm on." She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm in 7; you're on 6."

He thanked her and continued playing golf.Later he got lost again.

He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.

"I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please
tell me what hole I'm on." She told him "you are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13."Again he thanked her and continued playing golf.

when he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went upto her
and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She
accepted. As they were drinking and talking he asked her what she did for a living."I'm in sales."

He replied, "no kidding so am I. What do you sell?"

She said it's too embarrassing to tell. But after he kept pleading to
know what she sold she said she'd tell him if he promised not
to laugh. He promised.

She said, "I sell WHISPER (Sanitary Napkins)" He immediately fell to
the floor laughing hysterically. She said, "You promised you wouldn't laugh".

He replied, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet
paper........ AND I'm still one hole behind you"

Lord Mandy of Bhoys said...

I recognise your bottom DL. Are you sure we haven't met ?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sophes, We've had an awfy spell o' weather doon here in Ayr. Last week there was a hurricane and it never even made 'Reporting Scotland'! It was raining hard yesterday in Kilmarnock. But that's good. It will give the manky bastards a wash!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Keybo, What do you mean, my arse is my best bit though. Good joke.

Dark Lochnagar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lord Mandy -memoirs £24. said...

No. I've bummed Gordon many times and that's not him. Admit it DL. You love me.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Your Lordship, I'll love you if you give me a couple of million. It would take that much for me even to touch your wrinkled willy.

banned said...

Is this another torrid attempt to curry favour with your Gay readership DL?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, you've caught me out. Here as me trying to hide my dark secret as well. Bastard!