Wednesday, 9 June 2010

THE DARK LOCHNAGAR BUDGET-SEE IF YOU AGREE!


If I was Georgio Osborne this is what I would do in the budget.  I know some of this would be Scotland's responsibility but in general terms.
  • HEALTH-10% CUT.  I for one have got nothing but praise for the health service but as with all large organisations there is a lot of waste to cut.  Drugs, GP's salaries and staffing in clinics but not wards could all be cut, to start with and there then is plenty more to be going on with.
  • DEFENCE-Bring the troops home from Afghanistan and Iraq, cancel Trident and the Aircraft carriers.
  • FREEZE BENEFITS-Everybody has to contribute something.  Stop tax credits above £30k and means test child benefit and make it only payable up to two children.
  • INCREASE TAX-Close tax loopholes, raise taxes above £50k and increase tax to 60% above £100k, increase CGT to the same rate as your nominal tax rate.
  • CIVIL SERVICE-Slash top Civil Service pay.  No-one should be earning more than the PM. Slash Civil Servants pensions to a maximum of £50k per annum with a corresponding fall down to £30k
  • OTHER DEPARTMENTS-To make an immediate cut of 15% rising to 20% by 2013

  • UPDATE-Sorry I forgot my old friend, INTERNATIONAL AID.  THAT'LL SAVE £7.9 BILLION
The ones of course who will bleat the most will be the twats who voted LABOUR for the last 13 years but with pleasure comes pain, ying and yang, cause and affect etc.  Or put in the parlance of the streets, LABOUR FUCKED IT AS USUAL, NOW THE TORIES HAVE TO CLEAR IT UP, AS USUAL. 

12 comments:

tris said...

I pretty much agree with that.

I'd add a massive reduction in the entertainments budget for government departments including the royal household. I know that we are judged by foreign governments on the lavishness of our entertainments for their presidents, kings and pontiffs, but tough shit. We’re so broke we could hardly be broker (ahem) so they will have to do with less. By the looks of many of them, including our own (Alex) it wouldn’t hurt them to eat and drink less.

Seriously, I heard a programme on how much money is spent on this entertainment and the wine cellars of the FO, Windsor Castle, No 10 and Chequers are just out of this world.

In the same series there was a programme on the number of embassies we have. Most of these highly paid, expensively housed people do very little for their money. I’d have a very serious review of them, and their lifestyles, and how much they cost us.

Whilst I agree about freezing benefits, some (only some) of our pensioners are dying of the cold in winter because of the Thatcher cut in the link between earnings and retirement pension, those without other means of support should not take the cut in their benefits.

I totally agree with your tax increases. And for those who don’t like it and want to go abroad because if it .... Bye bye. Remember though you’ll only be able to spend 7 days here a year from now on before we hit you for tax.

And yes, the Civil Service/Health Service/Local Government pensions will have to be cut, starting now. Brown did it to those in the private sector, but not the public one. Well, it’s balancing time now. I don’t want to work till I’m 80 to pay for some civil servant to retire at 60 with a shed load of cash.

DL for chancellor! (why do they not call him finiance secretary like everyone else, including us?)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, that's a brilliant idea. Me as Chancellor I mean and I promise not to take more than £100k plus expenses of course. Aye, there's stacks of stuff that could be cut. I wish I was in charge of it. They could bring their budgets to me and I would stick a red pen through them. Oh and one I missed. International aid! Cut that right back. If we have to suffer then fucking Mozambique has to suffer too!

INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

FFS DL that big erse upset my composure. Can't remember what I was going to write.

I'll get back to you later!!!

Dark Lochnagar said...

INCOMING!!!! For a second there you had me wondering, what big arse? And then I remembered GOT's amazing poster. A bit off putting or even shot putting or even just putting!

Sgt Pepperspray said...

That Roger Waters can fuck off and take Gilmore with him. If that is the new album cover for the "Fuck we need mortgage paying money off you" Dark Side Of The Moon, they can whistle for it. I know rick astley is sucking peter kays cock but this is a fucking travesty. Imagine all the people, imagine what? some fuckin nip spiking a hippy then all of a sudden alll the people are lovin each other whilst the commie cunts rob us blind. What was the question DL because if it was to do with time space continuem and black holes my answer is 2000987 to the power of David Essex.

banned said...

Likewise INCOMING!!!!! DLs celebratory banner is very offputting.

HEALTH-10% CUT. by 20% reduction in management, last in = first out.


DEFENCE-"Bring the troops home from Afghanistan and Iraq", agreed; cancel nation bulding, troops are for killing people; retain Trident to take out some cunt countries (ie France) if we really go down the shitter.


FREEZE BENEFITS-"Everybody has to contribute something". Dismantle the entire Famiy Tax Credit bollox which just takes money away with one hand and gives it back with the other and they expect recipients to be grateful. Middle class job creation scheme, no more, no less. Scrap it, Now!

INCREASE TAX-Close tax loopholes, Sadly closing tax loopholes always opens up others.

CIVIL SERVICE- See Health, above.

EDUCATION. Revolutionise Education by declaring All schools to be Independent Acadamies, tomorrow. Save a fortune on sacked local education authorities and the shrewy little women that work for them.

Justice. Cancel Legal Aid. (Ringfence savings to build new prisons).

Social Services. Cancel child benefits, WTF should we be subsidising other peoples feckless fucks?

Unemployment Benefits. 2 Day Fact finding visit to the Channel Isles by ONE member of each Benefits Office to study and reproduce their system of Parish Relief (details on request).

Dept Of Education (special). Cancel This Day the massive scam that is privatised "up-skilling" of the workforce as provided by phoney Training Service Providers managed by spivs and staffed by third rate failed teachers. Millions and millions have been, and are, wasted on this job creation scheme and it is the reason why there is no money to build/improve/extend YOUR local (6th Form) College.




OTHER DEPARTMENTS Close most of them

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, David Essex, is that fuckwit still on the go. I was told I looked like him once in the 70s, I think that was the reason I shaved my head and grew this hairy beard, (although what other kind of beard you get I don't really know). I was also told I looked like John Travolta when he was just a dancer with attitude. Why I had to buy 20 white suits, I don't know, particularly when I had a shaved head and a beard. I did get my beard permed in the late 70s when it became all the rage to have your hair permed, don't you know all the footy players were doing it, well apart from Pele that is but he had a problem getting a hard on, but we don't talk about that much now.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, in the broad spectrum of financial proberty, one could not disagree with your excellent assertions. However I would caution you on dropping the bomb on France as you will destroy most of southern England. Ah! I begin to see your cunning plan. Concentrate the UK Gov in Rochdale. Eh, can we have our share of the national wealth out of the London Museums first? Apart from that a most excellent plan. I'm not too sure about the Channel Island thing. Does that mean you let people know they're poor? If they don't get off their fucking fat lazy arses, then the state is not going to support them and it doesn't matter how many bastard kids they have, (cause I drunk 5 Bacardi Breezers and couldn't keep my fucking legs shut), if so it sounds great. When does it start and would you like to be my Chief Financial Secretary when I become Chancellor?

Dramfineday said...

You've all forgotten the BBC! Slash the licience fee in half....time those "entertainers" felt a little discomfort. Close BBC Scotland and pass the stuff back to London....mightv as well it's too poluted by labour in Scotland to be worthy of keeping open

banned said...

DL, in the Channel Isles a Parish Committee takes a case by case view of claimants. To someone who has lead a good life, hardworking, paid their taxes, family raising person who has fallen on hard times they are reasonably generous (more so than here).

To the feckless, layabout idle scumbags their view is "Get a job or fuck off, you'll get not a penny from us".

The folk who make these decisions are directly responsible to their local electorate but hurry up with the fact finding tours because the EU regard this system as being hard on the 'human rights' of idle layabout scumbag wasters.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Islaymalt, you've got a good point. What about them paying that Irish bint on that shite thing that comes on after the evening news, £2m. Fuck me. It's time Cameron did something. We're suffering and she's getting a wage increase paid by us!

Anonymous said...

Okay i agree with you on the actual cuts bbut i dont agree with the hatred of labour! labour has done a much better job with this country than the torie did it was the banks who fucked everythin up. who brought in expenses - maggie thatcher, a torrie
who ruined the coal industry, the tories
who gave everyone a bit more money and a better life ... labour
so shut up blamin everythin on labour and blame it on the fuckin banks
in fact dont blame anyone
accept the situation and get on with ur fuckin life!!!