Monday, 14 June 2010


The male population has soared across Britain due to the ban on the poison used to kill them.
Pest controllers have said they could number up to 40 million although the most recent estimate is currently 33 million.  The rise is due to a ban on the use of strychnine, commonly used as a means of killing males, as well as the foot and mouth epidemic which cut off rural areas from pest controllers leaving the male population unchecked.  The British Traditional Malecatchers Register, which represents 300 male trappers, has seen call-outs triple over the last two years.

It's nice to see males making a comeback after being in danger over the last 13 years or so.  However there is one male that we could do with getting rid of.  Regular readers will know that I am not one for using the 'C' word, but tonight I am, CHILES, FUCKING ADRIAN CHILES!  There I've done it.  ITV can you not sack the bastard?  We don't have any option BUT to watch the CHILES! 
 How that N.Irish lassie, could have let that UGLY, BRUMMIE WANKER  shag her, is beyond me!


banned said...

Seriously though, two wimmin on Radio 4 last week discussing why the age of death gap between women and men was narrowing. One declared that men were living longer because of the smoking ban since "men smoke more so more men are smoking less" That's so scientific isn't it? And so soon after the ban!

How about the male generations culled by World Wars now having largley passed away and that men, in general, no longer spend their working lives sweating their bollox off in poisonous factories, backbreaking manual labour and etc.

Robert Green. Englands No1 said...

If Chiles was really shagging that Christine Blakely then I must be in with a chance. I'm as popular as him and better looking.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dark,

Off-topic but may I as one of your new-found, and seemingly widespread, gay following congratulate you having got rid of that poofy background wallpaper you had up recently.

As Oscar is reputed to have said on his deathbed "Either that wallpaper goes or I do"

Thanks again,


Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, what you say is true, but there are still those particularly in Scotland who yearn for the days of men down mines getting lung diseases an killing themselves at the pit face, because it was 'noble'. Fuck me!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Greeno, you are very popular with all Scotsmen, well apart from a good number of Rangers supporters who for some reason seem to follow a foreign power at football!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, did you think it was a wee bit too gay? Unfortunately it came with the design which I didn't have time to change because it was 3 in the morning. Do you feel I am being more Gay sympathetic recently since you scolded me?