A PICTURE OF ONE OF THE NEW KNITTED BOOBS TAKEN BY SECRET CAMERA
In a new funding crisis shock to the NHS in England and Wales, homeworkers are to be employed to 'knit' breast implants aimed at new low-cost BREAST AUGMENTATION OPERATIONS.
By paying only the minimum wage and using an inferior wool, NHS managers expect to get the price of a couple of DD implants down from the current price of £3389 plus VAT to £4.36. The only advantage of the 'new implants' is that patients will be able to have a range of different sizes which can be changed at will, to suit different situations. For instance a BB size for the beach under a bikini, (in case they get soggy in the water), or a DD size under an evening dress to impress your friends, (and their partners).
Only top quality knitters need apply for employment as it is a requirement of the post, that you can sew a PERFECT NIPPLE.
NHS MANAGERS are hoping the new knitted breasts don't cause the same problems as the PLASTICINE PENIS EXTENSIONS' SCANDAL of the 70's.