Wednesday, 5 May 2010

BROWN PROPOSES LEADERS' WIVES NUDE MUD-WRESTLING CONTEST IF IT'S A HUNG PARLIAMENT!


An increasingly desperate Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has proposed to the Leaders of the other political parties that in the event of a 'hung Parliament a leaders' wives, mud-wrestling contest be held to decide who will form the next Government!
ITV, SKY and the BBC are all said to be keen to stage such an event particularly as it proposed that the wives wrestle in the nude.  Mr Cameron's wife, SUMCUM is obviously at a disadvantage being six months pregnant however as she told  a NEWS CONFERENCE this afternoon in her usual demure way, "fucking never mind that, I won't be long in kicking that SARAH right in her FANNY"!
Alex Salmond's wife does not participate in day to day politics but SNP PIN-UP, NICOLA STURGEON is keen to take part.  She told D.L. today that although she was diminutive going by BIG SARAH'S STANDARDS, she was as 'tough as fucking nails' and "wouldn't be long in kicking the SHITE OUT OF THOSE ENGLISH BITCHES".  "I see this as Scotland's chance to be properly represented in THIS ELECTION AFTER BEING SIDELINED IN THE LEADERS' DEBATES".

10 comments:

scunnert said...

Will it be televised? The Iplayer disnae work ower here - can ye record it and throw it up oan YouTube? There's a pal:o)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Scunnert, I will be recording it myself. I'm dying to get a shufti at Sarah's threepenny bits, to say nothing of her Ho Nanny!

Allan said...

Will it be an interactive event for the public to join in?

The Boggart said...

Is it a tag team based affair or an all in biting scratching hair pulling bout?
P.S If you hear of a man in Manchester getting arrested at a polling station for a violent outburst - It's me kicking off after finding out some cunty faced bastard has voted on my behalf.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Allan, welcome. There may be a lottery type competition, certainly to get seats. The front row will be the MSM and the second will be old slevery wankers. Ok, let's face it that would mean that both rows are old slevery wankers!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bogey, there will be hair pulling, unless it is of the pubic variety although I'm told that Nicola is as smooth as a bald man's head in the fanny region. Well, according to Alex that is. But he's been known to talk shite occasionally.

Try and get on SKY tomorrow when you have your punch up with the guy at the booths.

banned said...

What about the leaders biatches from the Welsh Nats and UDP joining in, making it a Home Nations Sixsome?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned a bit like the six nations but without the frogs and the wops. An excellent idea, but I'm not sure I would fancy Iain Paisley as the Prime Minister!

banned said...

Looks like mud-wrestling leaders wives it is then.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, it looks that way. Since it was my idea, do you want the contract for the mud?