Saturday, 29 May 2010

ADVENTURER BEAR GRYLLIS TO SHAG 10,000 SCOUTS OVER THE BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND!


TV adventurer Bear Grylls,  plans to shag more than 10,000 Scouts over the bank holiday weekend.
Adventurer Bear Grylls has joined in activities including bare back climbing, woggling and survival techniques such as currently being used by David Laws in Westminster as he squirms trying to keep his job, with thousands of Scouts.
The daredevil documentary maker, who is Chief Scout, set off on a trip to visit more than 10,000 Scouts taking part in outdoor pursuits over the bank holiday weekend

Footnote: The term to 'shag' when used in this context is an old scouting term for to 'jamboree' and should not be used in it's modern, vulgar use i.e. to have sexual intercourse with.

7 comments:

banned said...

Well explained DL; perhaps your readers might also benefit from an understanding of that old but now sadly abandoned Scouting mantra
"DYB DYB DYB" and the retort
"DOB DOB DOB"
Fondly thought of as acronyms for "Do Your Best" & "Do Our Best" but which, as is clearly explaind on page 136 of Lord Robert 'Bob' Baden-Powells 'Scouting For Boys' are actually code for
Drop Your Pants &
Do One Bob (or Dirty Old Bastard according to other sources).

I still have some of my old Scout badges DL, sad but true; my favourite being the "survival techniques (observation)", know by us in Scout shorthand as Dogging.

Mr Laws said...

" Scouting for Boys" is a fine read.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I was in the Scouts also and the main thing I remember was a camp we went on at Easter when it was early one year. I was doing a 'survival' badge or some such bollocks and all they gave us was a knife, a staff and some tinfoil, oh and a ground sheet and a sleeping bag. We had to build a shelter out of ferns and cook some shite in the tinfoil over a primus stove. I have never been so cold in my life, before or since. The knife came in handy however, when we cut the guy ropes on Akela's tent or whatever he was called, (that might have been the Cubs)!

Dark Lochnagar said...

David, I bet the pages on your copy are stuck together!

Key bored warrior. said...

News Flash!!! Grizzly Bear Warning

from the Department of Fish & Game



In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Department of Fish & Game is advising Scouts, hikers, hunters, and fishermen to wear little bells tied to their clothing while in the field.

It has been strongly advised that Scouts and outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting outdoorsman to be walking in their habitat.

It has also been strongly advised for Scouts and outdoorsmen to carry non-lethal pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

The Department states it is a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Scouts and outdoorsmen should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.

Black bear scat is smaller and contains lots of berries and many times squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it, smells like pepper and many times pieces of red, tan and green fabric.

Key bored warrior. said...

Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,....we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Keybo, If I have the chance of running into a fucking Grizzly, I'll be wanting something more lethal than a pepper spray. About 12 bore would be adequate and the Bear can fuck off.

Obviously your interviewer forgot that it's not the gun that kills but the twat pulling the trigger!