Labour Party hopeful, Gordon Brown, started the second day of the campaign by emphasizing what an ordinary, miserable wanker he is.
"Sarah and I sometimes just sit in Downing Street, after having had a supper of frozen Cottage Pie from The Co-Op, watching some game of footy on the telly or one of those reality game shows like, "Mandy rehearses for the part of Tinkerbell" and how we laugh! Not for us, the 'high life' that the Tories enjoy".
A Mr Ainsworth, a baldy twat, who has taken to wearing a 'syrup of figs' in recent years and was standing nearby, was heard to remark, "FUCK THAT! I hope that miserable SCOTCH FUCKER gets his. I'm fed up being ordinary. I want to be in STRINGFELLOWS WITH DAVE AND GEORGEY-BOY!