AN EMPEROR PENGUIN WAITS FOIR IT'S LUNCH IN A ICELANDIC ZOO YESTERDAY
With the solemn words, "due to the NO vote in the Icelandic referendum regarding the £2.3 billion owed to this country, we are now at war with Iceland. I have ordered A FLOTILLA OF 2 MINESWEEPERS, THE ISLE OF WHITE FERRY AND A TUG to be dispatched immediately for Icelandic waters in a show of strength"
The Minesweepers will be deployed to search for watery IEDs, whilst the tug pulls the ferry closer to Iceland. At this point, a HARRIER JUMP JET will straff the enemy positions allowing the ferry to dock where the GRENADIER GUARDS BRASS BAND will disembark and try to seize the FISH PROCESSING PLANTS FOR BRITAIN! Should the staff not surrender quickly enough, the band will strike up GOD SAVE THE QUEEN which will make them throw down their filleting knives sharpish.
Four of the Guardsmen will be sent in a FIAT BRAVO to seize the HOT SPRINGS arresting any NUDE BATHERS found there. The British Troops will hold the ISLAND in a vice-like grip until the ICELANDIC PEOPLES come to their senses and vote to pay us the money they owe us, otherwise the BAND will eat all their HERRING.