Ex-Labour leader and councillor, FAT, SPECCY, UGLY BASTARD, Steven Purcell has been linked with the GLASGOW DRUGS SCENE after being recently questioned by an exclusive POLICE SQUAD.
PURCELL has now FLED TO AUSTRALIA, allegedly to escape retribution by the Glasgow Drug Baron, MAD CAT McTURK, who has been known to make his victims eat WHISKAS before neutering them with a PAIR OF RUSTY PLIARS.
PURCELL is said to be learning to play the DIGEREDOO and painting "ABO" outback scenes.
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