Whilst we in Scotland celebrate Burns Night by getting pished, maudlin (Scots word for recounting sad occasions, sort of) and eating an admittedly delicious mixture of OFFAL WRAPPED IN A SHEEP'S STOMACH, in AUSTRALIA where they have just celebrated AUSTRALIA DAY, they mark the day by having young women dressed in bikinis, WRESTLE IN VEGEMITE. ( Rather than MARMITE in case there are any VEGETARIANS present ), ( No Harriet Harmans there then! ).
I wonder if Alex Salmond could persuade ANNABEL GOLDIE and JACKIE BAILLIE to wrestle NAKED IN A VAT OF COLD PORRIDGE to mark ST. ANDREW'S DAY.
NO, MAYBE NOT THEN!