Friday, 25 December 2009


A secret Santa went round a store in Portland, Maine handing out envelopes with $100 bills inside.

The generous act was inspired by the story of Missouri man Larry Stewart, who handed out $100 bills for years during the festive season and who remained anonymous until shortly before his death in 2007.  Stewart handed out more than $1.3million (£815,000) over two decades.

BUT CHILDREN!  We in Britain have our own secret Santa.  Can you guess who he is?  Yes, it's Santa Gordon.  Except Santa Gordon, doesn't give us money!  No, Santa Gordon takes our money and gives it to those naughty bankers.  So far Children, he's given away £16,000 of your Mummy and Daddys' money.  BAD SANTA GORDON!

What will we do with Bad Santa Gordon.  Well Children, come May next year, Mummy and Daddy are going to vote Bad Santa Gordon out of power and the one-eyed, cack-handed Twat can go home to Fife, dig his garden and watch shitey Raith Rovers FC.  What a Bad Santa!


Anonymous said...

Good Morning, but not quite yet.

Last night was a family night of French cuisine and Champagne oh and some red biddy.

In Le Gers we have duck and foie gras as staple food but fuck me, foie gras soup?

The main course was stuffed partidge with------------------------------------------------foie gras!

I felt my arteries clogging us during the meal and only the copious slugs of alcohol kept the flowing at all.

The meal sat bang centre stomach all night long as it very slowly passed its way into the intestine. I slept bugger all as every tie I laid me down it wanted to walk uowrds.

Back to bamboo shoots today, I think.

Anybody work who reads this blog for UPS?

Could you airfreight me an Enster Fish Supper, please?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bugger, it spounds like a good meal. You're not wanting a fish supper it's full of creashe!